Terror Never Fades
by Charmed Writer P4
Summary: Unrelated with the G&R series. Piper is kidnapped by a man who believes he is on a mission given to him by God. Neither Paige nor Phoebe realize what has happened, leaving Piper without hope. Piper based (obviously) R&R please
1. To Do List

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Charmed. I'm almost positive it's illegal to do what I'm going to do with these characters...ah well, don't sue. It's only fun and fiction!  
  
AN: Welcome to the newest development of my insanity. Everyone who is familiar with my previous stories, forget about them while you read this one. Terror Never Fades isn't tied to my on-going series (which, I know, I desperately need to update) This fic is Piper centric, another oddity if you know me. I hope you enjoy reading this because I adore writing it. Also, I already have the next four chapters written, so the sooner I get reviews...Well, you uderstand what I'm getting at. :P:P  
  
Piper Halliwell entered the Manor she shared with her two sisters, arms loaded with bags of groceries. She felt one of the bags slip, and carefully, she pushed it back up with her knee. Her eyes scanned the foyer, focusing in on the blinking answering machine light. Mentally noting the message the light indicated, she made her way to the kitchen, where she unloaded the groceries onto the counter. Sighing heavily, Piper pushed her long brown hair out of her face with an impatient flick of her wrist. She silently debated putting the food away before remembering the awaiting message. As she turned to walk away, a flurry of movement caught her attention and instinctively she threw her hands up, freezing the impending disaster before it actually occurred. Resettling the culprit -one large, food-filled paper sack- back into a safer place on the counter top, Piper walked back to the foyer.  
  
The Halliwells were not ordinary women by a long shot. Each of them held powers most of the world only dreamed existed. Piper, the eldest, held the powers of temporal stasis and molecular combustion. In lay man's terms, freezing and blowing objects up. Phoebe, the next in the Halliwell line, had the power of levitation and premonitions. Though neither were active powers, as she had so often pointed out, both powers came in handy. The baby of the three, Paige, held an array of powers given to her by her Whitelighter father, Sam, including orbing, a means of transporting herself and anyone touching her to another location -sometimes mere inches from the previous location- and healing, a power she hadn't quite mastered. Her mother, a witch, contributed telekinesis to her assortment of powers, though her Whitelighter half put a spin on the way the initial power functioned. Instead of mentally moving an object, she called for it and it orbed to her. The Charmed Ones, as they were appropriately known to much of the widespread evil they battled, held more power than any other witches had before them.  
  
As Piper depressed the button on the small machine, she couldn't think of a time when she had felt less like a powerful witch. In fact, she felt like a maid, fulfilling every whim her sisters had with child-like obedience. She heard her sister's disembodied voice rambling on frantically about a job interview she was almost late for, so could Piper or Paige please pick up her dry cleaning for her, since she wouldn't be able to get to it today. Piper rolled her eyes, not even bothering to finish the message before turning the tape off. She was in no mood to deal with another dull, meaningless chore. Still, she couldn't exactly ignore her sister's request and so, she picked up her keys from the floor where she'd dropped them earlier while carrying in the groceries, and headed back out of the Manor.  
  
On the steps, she noticed Paige pulling in the driveway and smiled. Paige extricated herself from her tiny car and started in Piper's direction, a look of agitation splattered across her features. Piper raised her eyebrows and braced herself for the onslaught.  
  
"That's it. I've had it with this entire ordeal," Paige spat immediately, dismissing a greeting as something meant for strangers, not sisters. Piper looked on sympathetically, waiting for the story she knew was coming. "My boss," Paige stated simply. Piper nodded and pulled her sister into the house, temporarily setting her previous engagement with the dry cleaners on the back burner. Paige screwed her expression into one of intense dislike, and Piper patted her shoulder.  
  
"What did he do this time?," Piper asked quietly. She suspected he had once again lectured Paige on the importance of showing up for work on time, a speech Paige had a particularly hard time digesting. They both situated themselves on the living room couch, a position taken up many times before.  
  
"He said that he is on the brink of firing me," Paige hissed indignantly, "In his words, my 'habitual tardiness' combined with 'the frequent absences from the office' are pushing him towards a final decision. Apparently, if I am not a model employee for a long while, I am going to lose my job. Of course, I can't possibly explain to him that my witchy duties are getting in the way of my work-life!"  
  
Piper sat quietly for a moment, reflecting on what to say. She knew if she tried to brush it off as the boss blowing off steam, Paige would respond coldly. She couldn't help but think that Paige could try a little harder to get to the office on time, but naturally, she wasn't going to give voice to that opinion.   
  
"Well, what do you think about taking a break from your Wiccan obligation for a while? Phoebe and I can handle any minor vanquishes we may have to perform, and lately, demonic activity has been sparse. It wouldn't hurt for you to try to revert to your old habits -like concentrating fully on your job with Social Services- instead of constantly worrying about improving your skills in the craft," Piper suggested softly.  
  
"I....don't know, Piper. I know you mean well, but honestly, that is almost useless advice. Aren't innocents supposed to come first? So anything I do to 'improve my skills in the craft' are, in a sense, helping them," Paige replied after a pause. Piper inwardly winced, feeling the unintentional dagger sink deep into her heart.   
  
"I know," she hastily amended, "I was way off base. Maybe you should consult Phoebe...I really don't have a lot of great advice today...I guess I'm not myself today." Paige nodded, indicating that that was obvious. Piper half expected to be questioned on what had thrown her off, but Paige instead got up to leave, mumbling something about a nap. After Paige had departed to her bedroom, Piper stared for a few moments into the space her sister had occupied, then resumed her earlier task dejectedly.  
  
Paige listened to the door of the Manor close and briefly wondered where Piper was running off to. Assuming it was related to one of the many items on the ever-present To Do list Piper kept, Paige dismissed the unnerving feeling that passed over her. Once again, she played over in her mind the earlier scene with her boss, entertaining thoughts of what she would have liked to say, had she not been worried about keeping her job. All the while, in the back of her mind, a nagging voice reminded her of the hurt look on Piper's face during their conversation in the living room. Sighing, she let the thought fully form in her mind and made a mental note to apologize to Piper for her rude dismissal. That decided, she fell onto her bed, closing her eyes. Reminding herself that she had promised Piper to help with the club that night, she let her body relax and soon felt herself dozing off. 


	2. Memories

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Charmed. I'm almost positive it's illegal to do what I'm going to do with these characters...ah well, don't sue. It's only fun and fiction!  
  
AN: Thanks Charmed Princess, Starring Piper, pippergurl, and Chub for reviewing! You guys are the reason for this second chapter. Please let me know what you think of this chapter...and never fear! The real reason for Terror Never Fades comes very soon.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Piper pushed re-dial on the cordless phone in her hand, then brought it up to her ear. Paige had yet to show up, and she was incredibly short-handed. Again, for the dozenth time, Piper got the answering machine. At the chipper sound of Phoebe's voice insisting that she leave her name and number, Piper growled and slammed the phone down. This was the absolute last straw. After the countless favors she had done for the girl, the least she could to was fulfill one single, solitary promise. Piper knew her anger was a bit much, but she couldn't help but think that she deserved a little -even a smidgen would be enough- gratitude. As a last attempt, Piper dialed Phoebe's cell phone number.  
  
"Hello," came the perfunctory greeting. Piper gritted her teeth hard together, trying to gain some semblance of composure.  
  
"Phoebe, do you happen to know where Paige is?," she demanded, fully realizing that her tone wasn't quite calm.  
  
"Piper, look, if you can't find her, how am I supposed to know where she is? I'm in the middle of a date with this really, really hott guy...Can we play Find-The-Sister later?," Phoebe responded agitatedly. Piper nearly snapped at her but managed to keep her cool.  
  
"Sure, Phoebs...Good luck tonight. Have fun, and be safe," Piper told her airily, trying her best to play the part of 'the good sister'. The dial tone rang in her ear, and Piper held the phone to her ear for a few seconds. "She hung up on me," Piper whispered to herself incredulously. Before she could really think anything through, she was staring at the remains of her cordless phone. Pieces of it were scattered all over the floor across the room.   
  
"Uh...Piper," a voice called hesitantly. Piper turned around to face the owner of that voice, one of the waitresses in her employment. "Is everything alright?," the girl, Marissa, asked. Piper nodded, offered an embarrassed smile, and hurriedly retrieved a broom from the storage closet. As she swept, she felt Marissa's eyes following her movements. Piper grew tired of the surveillance and turned to give the waitress a cold look. Marissa, looking stricken, rushed back to her duties. Piper finished cleaning up the mess she'd made, feeling a little guilty for treating her employee badly. Making up her mind to apologize to Marissa, she discarded the plastic remains of her phone into a garbage can nearby. Then, she sought out Marissa. She caught sight of long blonde hair and tapped Marissa on the shoulder.  
  
"Hey...listen. I'm sorry if I seem a little...high strung at the moment. My sister was supposed to come in tonight, since we're so short-handed, but she isn't home and...obviously she isn't here. I don't mean to take it out you," Piper told her. Marissa nodded, then smiled slightly.  
  
"Sisters...I understand now," she answered with a knowing look. Piper laughed, feeling a little of her tension drain away. "She still has a few minutes 'til the place opens...Maybe she'll show up," she offered after a brief pause.   
  
"I guess it's possible...Anyway, we have work to do," Piper said, brushing off the comment. Paige wouldn't show up. That much she knew and should have guessed before she'd made the request in the first place. Piper worked her way across the club, cleaning a few more surfaces on her way, then opened the door. People began streaming in, and Piper sighed heavily. So much for Paige showing up, she thought once she'd scanned the crowd. Piper positioned herself behind the bar. Already a few people were bombarding her with orders. As quickly as possible, Piper mixed drinks, still fuming over her sister's broken promise.  
  
The night wore on, and Piper barely had enough time to breathe, much less be angry with her sister. The hour of closing drew nearer, but the amount of work she had to do was still daunting. With a tired smile, she served her last few customers. Finally, the club emptied and she locked the doors, preventing any late-comers from wandering inside. Her eyes swept across the room, and she nearly gave up right then. The place was a complete wreck. She considered going home and cleaning up in the morning, but knew that if she put it off, her work load for tomorrow would be twice as heavy. Silently cursing Paige, Piper began her tedious job. She checked her watch and groaned. She would be here all night. Briefly, she pondered whether to call the Manor and let someone know that she would be in late -very late-, then dismissed the idea. Phoebe was probably having sex right about then, and Paige wasn't really big on answering the phone. I could probably disappear completely and they would hardly notice until their laundry started piling up, or they got hungry..., she thought bitterly. Laughing at herself, she wiped the counters down. That was bordering over-dramatic, even for her.  
  
"Piper," Marissa called out. Piper glanced at her, catching the guilty expression. "My husband jsut called...One of the kids are sick. Do you think I could....," she trailed off, looking at the floor sheepishly. Piper held back a sigh and forced herself to smile reassuringly.  
  
"Sure...go ahead," she told her. Marissa smiled gratefully and departed. Piper groaned inwardly. Everyone else had gone home as well. She was in this alone. A memory surfaced abruptly, and Piper allowed herself to be lost in it.  
  
~*~  
  
Piper gazed around in dismay at the mess previously known as P3. The only thing that the club didn't have an abundance of happened to be workers, and Piper knew she was in for a long night. Taking a deep breath, she reached for a few of beer bottles littering the table closest to her. Piper caught herself before she made a comment about the workload. She had wanted this club, and she needed to be grateful for having it. Her sisters, bless them, had made her dream possible. As she worked, she thought about Prue and Phoebe, probably curled up in their respective beds, sleeping the night away. Piper smiled at the image in her mind, feeling a wave of tenderness sweep through her. Those girls, though quite possibly the most exasperating human beings she was in contact with at times, were her entire world.  
  
A loud knock at the locked door made Piper drop the towel she'd been using to wipe down a table, and she glanced nervously towards the origin of the sound. Who could that be?, she asked herself as she walked to the door. Cautiously, she peered through the small windows and sighed in relief. She swung the door open and grinned at her sisters.  
  
"What are you two doing here?," she demanded. Phoebe and Prue pushed passed her, eager to get inside.  
  
"Neither of us could sleep, so we figured we would come see how our investment is coming...," Phoebe explained, glancing around skeptically, "Piper...honey, what's up with this mess? Where are all your employees?"   
  
Piper grimaced, remembering the task looming ahead of her. "They...all needed to get home," Piper answered, shrugging, "For their own -really good- reasons." Prue raised an eyebrow, tempted to make a sarcastic comment. Piper appeared convinced that she had had to let them leave though, and she knew it would do no good to argue. For once, she kept her opinion to herself.  
  
"Need some help?," she offered instead, and was rewarded with a hug that nearly cut off her circulation.  
  
"That would be so great," Piper returned gratefully. Phoebe winked at Prue, attempting to send her a secret thought. Prue appeared puzzled, then grinned.   
  
"Piper..can you open that big recycle bin back there?," she asked slyly. Piper did as was requested, giggling. Prue then used her telekinesis to send all of the bottles and cans flying into the bin.  
  
"Well, that's done, all that is left is to clean tables," Prue announced, satisfied. Piper and Phoebe laughed and got to work. Within the hour, P3 started to look like an actual club and less like a disaster area.   
  
"Thanks guys," Piper said, once they completed the job. Prue nodded at her.  
  
"What are sisters for?," Phoebe responded, smiling.  
  
~*~  
  
Piper wiped away a stray tear. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt that content. It had been a while, for sure. More than ever, she felt the emptiness that Prue had left inside of her when she'd died. With a tired sigh, Piper moved to another table, clearing it off distractedly. 


	3. Attack

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Charmed. I'm almost positive it's illegal to do what I'm going to do with these characters...ah well, don't sue. It's only fun and fiction!  
  
AN: Thanks pippergurl, reader, P3Halliwell1329, and wAnNaBpIpEr for your reviews. Special thanks to my sisters Charmed Princess, Missy Paige, and Starring Piper(my twin and my twintastic muse) jsut 'cuz I love'em.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Paige stared at her enraged sister, feeling a twinge of anger herself. Piper had flown at her, demanding an explanation, the moment Paige had walked through the kitchen door. Of course, since she had only been up for a few minutes, Paige hadn't been able to come up with an excuse. So, she'd told her the truth.   
  
"I'm sorry Piper," Paige repeated, "I fell asleep. I didn't do it intentionally!" Piper crossed her arms impatiently, clearly furious.  
  
"The least you could have...no, the decent thing for you to do would have been to call and tell me that you didn't feel up to helping me. Instead, you jsut...didn't show up at all. I had no idea where you were, what had happened. For all I knew, you could have been hurt or..worse!," Piper returned. Paige rolled her eyes, tiring of her sister's exaggerated arguments.   
  
"Please...Lay off. I don't need this," Paige said hotly, turning away. Piper, realizing she was overreacting, forced herself to repress her anger, and softened her tone.  
  
"Paige," she called. Paige turned around, an eyebrow raised questioningly.  
  
"All I'm saying is, next time call please," she told her. Paige knew the storm had passed and grinned.  
  
"Will do, sis," she replied, heading upstairs to take a shower.   
  
Piper pushed away her irritation, not really up for any more fighting. Her earlier complaint -that Paige could have been hurt or worse- sprang into her mind. She hadn't even thought of that the night before. Immediately, guilt began to work its way into her heart. She had no right to be angry with Paige, not about being selfish. Feeling horrible, Piper bit her lip, anxious to keep the flood of tears that had rushed to her eyes from surfacing.   
  
Lost in thought, Piper absentmindedly poured herself another -her third, in fact- cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table. Paige, after all, hadn't intentionally left her high and dry. It was an admitted accident. So why get so furious? Piper sighed, unable to answer the question and tired of wondering about it. She pushed back her chair, intending to put her now-drained mug in the sink. She didn't make it there. Strong arms wrapped around her, a hand going to her mouth. Piper tried to struggle, but inhuman strength held her prisoner. The hand over her mouth prevented her from screaming, and whoever -or whatever- was holding her had her arms pinned to her sides, keeping from using her powers. Piper went limp, trying to trick him -him, her, it?- into believing she had surrendered. The grip lessened, but only for an instant, before the pressure returned, as if anticipating her move before she herself was able to attempt it. Piper's blood went cold when she felt metal press at her temple. A gun. She heard a telltale click and went perfectly still. He was going to kill her. Her thoughts raced forward, and she began to fear not only for herself, but for her sister. Paige could come downstairs at any time and surprise her attacker. There wasn't a doubt in her mind about that gun. He had brought it for a reason. How long had it been? Five minutes, maybe ten. Paige would be back soon. She had to get herself -and her assailant- out of the Manor. So, she let her body language convey the message that she would be acquiescent. Deftly, he tied her hands together, certain she could be trusted enough not to try and escape while he did so.  
  
"We are going to get in your car," a male voice whispered. Piper inwardly shuddered when his lips touched her ear, knowing the raspy, harsh sound of his voice would be engraved in her mind forever. "If you make a sound, I will kill you and your sisters." Piper believed him. "I need your keys," he ordered quietly. Piper nodded towards the foyer, indicating to him where she kept them.  
  
Slowly, they moved through the Manor, finally reaching the front door. He picked up the keys from a small table, jingling them in front of her, celebrating the victory. Piper closed her eyes. She couldn't allow herself to be frightened. It was too risky, especially with the threat against her sisters. He jerked her outside and she blinked against the sudden blinding light. Piper felt the tip of the gun at her back, prodding her forward until they reached her vehicle. He pushed her roughly into the back seat, following her briefly, in order to tie cloth around her eyes. Piper bit her lip, trying hard not to cry as darkness engulfed her. When she tried to sit up, he crammed her face into the seat.   
  
"Don't move," he commanded her. Piper obeyed instantly. He's going to kill me. What will my sisters do? They need me. Oh god...I'm not ready to die, she thought, each realization hitting in rapid succession.  
  
The sound of the engine turning over had her trembling. Where was he going to take her? She heard him adjusting the seat to his preference, then go still, apparently settling in for a long drive.  
  
"I've been watching you for so long now Piper," he told her, "I know every move you make. I know how much you do for those ungrateful wretches you live with. That's what makes you special. That's why I chose you. You're so giving and nurturing. I love that about you."  
  
Piper felt nausea sweep through her. His words taunted her. 'I've been watching you...' This had to be a bad dream. Things like this didn't happen in real life, only in movies. Even as Piper repeated these thoughts silently, she knew she was deceiving herself.   
  
"At first I had Paige picked out for my...duty. I saw her at P3, your club. She seemed perfect, but I was wrong. The first time I saw you with her...It had to be at least two months ago, I knew you were the one. Everything you did was so graceful. I bet you haven't noticed that, but I did. The first time I came into your bedroom and watched you sleep... I'll never forget how innocent you looked. I knew I had to have you. I knew you were mine. God made you jsut for me. You know that don't you?" He paused, waiting for her to answer. Piper was silent, not willing to give him the satisfaction of hearing her whimper.  
  
"Never mind. You will find out soon enough. First though, I have to cleanse you. I know your secret Piper. I know you and your sisters made a pact with Satan. I know about your 'special powers'. Please believe me when I tell you that those powers are evil. They ruin the goodness within you."  
  
Piper tried to tune him out, but his voice kept drifting into her head, forcing her to listen. She knew he was crazy, but his words were touching a nerve she thought she had suppressed long ago. Was she evil? She shook herself. Don't listen to him. He wants you to trust him. Remember the good you have done, the people you have saved. Don't let him win, she told herself harshly, brushing aside the doubts he'd created. She couldn't stop a tear from slipping from her eyes, absorbing into the cloth that blinded her. She needed to get her hands untied. Her powers-  
  
"Oh, by the way," he said casually, seeming to read her mind, "Your powers are useless against me. I have an amulet protecting me from all magic. Where we are going is also protected, so don't try anything 'witchy'. It will only get you in trouble." Piper felt defeated. She was trapped...even magic wouldn't save her.  
  
AN: And the excitement starts...happy wAnNaBpIpEr??? lol. glad to see a review from ya, by the way! Hope everyone liked this chapter! The faster you review, the faster I update chapter four, already written...jsut waiting for you to review and ask for it... 


	4. Terror Never Fades

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Charmed. I'm almost positive it's illegal to do what I'm going to do with these characters...ah well, don't sue. It's only fun and fiction!  
  
AN: Thanks Starring Piper, Kim, Tigerdrake, Chub, pippergurl, wAnNaBpIpEr, reader, line100, Piper15, charmednwicked, and charmedfanatic12 for your reviews. Special thanks to my sisters Charmed Princess, Missy Paige, and Starring Piper(my twin and my twintastic muse) jsut 'cuz I love'em.  
  
Chapter 4  
  
The vehicle stopped moving abruptly. Piper clenched her teeth together, willing herself to stay calm. She heard him -Matt, as he had told her during the ride- turn off the engine, open his door, and place his feet on what sounded like gravel. The scratching sound continued for a moment, then he opened the door closest to her head. She waited for him to tell her to get up, then, too late, felt the movement of air around her. With a dull thud, he brought something down sharply on her head. Piper slipped into unconsciousness, thinking once again of her sisters.  
  
Matt carefully picked her up, swinging her around so that he could face their new habitat. He smiled, enjoying the feel of her in his arms. Briefly, he allowed his thoughts to linger on the pleasure he could obtain from her. After a moment, he reprimanded himself harshly.  
  
"The Lord did not give her to you so that you could think adulterous thoughts," he told himself firmly. Still, he could not completely ignore the excitement he had felt for those few moments of sinful delight.   
  
Matt pushed the cloth from her face, relishing the contact between them. He stared intently at her face, as if memorizing every feature carefully. She is mine, he assured himself, filling with intense joy. Slowly, he brought his lips to each of her closed eyelids, marking her as his own. Then, as her weight began to take its toll on his arms, Matt carried her into the cabin in front of them.  
  
Piper stirred moments after he set her gently down. She felt soft fabric beneath her, caressing the bare skin of her arms. Her mouth felt dry, and she couldn't get her limbs to move. After long, dragging moments, her eyes focused enough to allow her to see -though the images were blurry- her new surroundings. She noticed Matt standing a few feet away, his back turned to her. She saw him move, as if to face her, and impulsively she shut her eyes. Please, jsut go away. I need time to think, to sort this out... I...I need time to come up with a way to get away from here...back to my sisters, she silently begged.  
  
Piper held herself perfectly still when she felt fingers tracing her face. Nausea swept over her as his hand trailed lower, but she couldn't force herself to fight. The pain in her head overrode most of her senses, making it difficult to process his voice.  
  
"You are mine. My sweet, precious soon-to-be angel. I wish you would accept that," he whispered softly, kissing her gently. Piper would have recoiled if the dizziness had allowed it. "It would make things much easier," he continued, "For both of us."  
  
The fingers on one of his hands curled in her hair, turning the pounding headache into unbearable pain. The other hand rested on her abdomen, underneath her shirt. Still, she couldn't find the will to struggle, even a little. She tried to channel the anger welling inside of her but didn't have the concentration to pull it off. A shudder passed through her when he stroked her thigh, alerting him instantly to her level of awareness.  
  
"Playing games already?," he growled into her ear. Piper forced her eyes open. The light made her wince, but she suffered through the first bout of nausea bravely. "Don't mess around with me, Piper. I know how to make you scream out in pain. I know how to make you whimper with fear. Would you like me to demonstrate my power over you? Give you a taste of what will come if you don't follow any order I issue?"  
  
"Screw. You," she choked out. Hatred churned in her stomach, giving her a small amount of strength. Quickly, she moved her thigh from beneath his hand, where it still rested from his earlier assault.  
  
"Now, now. There wasn't need for that," he scolded. Piper glared at him. Searing pain prevented her from doing little else. Matt smiled at her warmly, at last moving away from her. "The fire in your eyes is promising. It means great passion dwells inside of you," he commented. Piper fought the urge to laugh. Matt caught the hidden smile.  
  
Piper had to blink a few times to confirm what she was taking in. Matt had completely transformed from a calm, smiling man into an enraged monster. His face was red, his eyes scorching her anywhere they rested. She felt a tremor go through her as he approached her once more. Then, as quickly as it had come, the anger drained from him. The condescending smile was back in place, as was the cool air of peace that had surrounded him previously. Piper could hardly believe the difference. The range of emotions she had witnessed from this man in such a short time frame frightened her. She knew he was capable of anything.  
  
"You almost had me, but the Lord has molded me well," he informed her good-naturedly, "He has done what no amount of therapy could do. He has taught me control and self-restraint."  
  
Piper closed her eyes against the rhythmic beating of pain against her skull. In vain, she tried to clear her mind. Mental clarity would allow her a chance to plan for her escape. For now, she would have to bide her time. She listened to him murmur softly, trying to discern a few of his whispered words. After a long moment, she realized he was praying.  
  
"Father, I am here to serve only You. I have done as you asked. She is here and she's so beautiful, perfect just the way You knew she would be. Thank you for this gift you have given me," he whispered softly, his head bowed, eyes closed.   
  
Piper felt resentful as he thanked his 'God' for her. He had robbed her of any kind of identity and that infuriated her, and even more, it scared her. The feeling left her a little lost. How could she manage as someone's personal possession instead of a real human being? Piper tried not to think of that particular possibility. She was going to get out before he could push her that far. When the muttering, which had become white noise to her, suddenly stopped, fear clamped down on her thoughts swiftly.   
  
"God has spoken to me. I know what He wants me to do with you," Matt told her, smiling broadly. His eyebrows knit together, as he observed her fear. "Feel grateful that He includes you in His divine plan, that He loves you enough to change you into one of His children," he instructed her. His tone suggested he was merely giving her a helpful piece of knowledge. Piper knew it was more likely a command.  
  
"Why should I feel grateful? You took me from my home on your 'God's' order. That doesn't give me a warm, fuzzy feeling about Him," she spat bravely. Matt sobered instantly.  
  
"Restrain yourself, witch. This won't be easy for you, and anger is only going to make it worse," he stated simply. Piper watched him struggle to reign in his fury, wondering why he bothered to do so at all. He walked closer to her, kneeling to be level with her. She saw the malice in his eyes and wanted to jerk back, but pride held her firmly in place. "Do you know what real terror is, darling? I'm sure you believe you do...after all, you face illusions of 'evil' regularly. Still, because it was simply imagination, I can tell you haven't been permanently affected by your supposed encounters. I don't see the scars from them in your eyes or in your actions... Experiencing something that awful always leaves traces of paranoia, lingering fears one can't quite get rid of," he explained softly, his words making Piper shiver. He appeared thoughtful, pausing in his speech. Then, he sighed and looked straight into her eyes, a ghost of a smile present on his face. " I'll teach you though, soon enough. Then you'll finally realize... Terror never fades, sweetheart."  
  
AN: Sorry it took me so long to update, things have been hectic around here, and prolly won't slow down until Monday. Nevertheless, I'll try to get chapter 5 (already written) up very soon. Hope you enjoyed the chapter and please review! 


	5. Cleansing Part 1

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Charmed. I'm almost positive it's illegal to do what I'm going to do with these characters...ah well, don't sue. It's only fun and fiction!  
  
AN: Thanks Tigerdrake,wAnNaBpIpEr, reader, line100,and charmedfanatic12 for your reviews. Special thanks to my sisters Charmed Princess, Missy Paige, and Starring Piper(my twin and my twintastic muse) jsut 'cuz I love'em.  
  
Chapter 5  
  
The harsh sound of a telephone ringing interrupted the peaceful solitude in the Halliwell household. Phoebe's head jerked up from the novel she'd been reading. She was supposed to be in an interview, but the meeting had fallen through. So, she had come home early, hoping to find Piper or Paige to keep her company. Instead, she found neither sister was home, and Phoebe had been forced to entertain herself. The tone sounded again, and she stretched luxuriously, unhurriedly pulling herself out of the over-sized chair she'd been occupying for last hour. In the middle of the third ring, she snatched the phone off the receiver.  
  
"Hello?," she answered with a smile.  
  
"Hi, this is Meagan, from P3. Is this one of Piper Halliwell's sisters?," the voice on the other line implored. Phoebe allowed herself to worry a little, unaccustomed to phone calls regarding Piper so formally.  
  
"Yes? Is anything wrong?," she returned immediately. A small, apologetic half-laugh could be heard faintly.  
  
"No, no," Meagan answered, "Everything is fine. In fact, it's wonderful. A man called, insisting that I call and let you know that Piper will be out of town for the weekend. See, he's looking to invest in P3...He wants to make it into a chain of clubs throughout...well, I'm not sure where all yet., but this is big news." Phoebe was a little exasperated. Why hadn't Piper called her for herself? Still, this was pretty important, and Phoebe felt the excitement she could hear in Meagan's voice infect her as well. "So, she has to attend some seminars...learn about expanding..all that. She's going to be pretty busy, but she didn't want you to worry."  
  
"Wow. I really...wasn't expecting that. Thanks for calling, Meagan," she breathed. Meagan assured her that it hadn't troubled her a bit, then hung up. The news left Phoebe a little restless. Nervous energy prevented her from returning to her earlier activity. Deciding she'd never be able to get back into her book, Phoebe picked up the still-warm phone. She dialed Paige's cell phone number from memory and listened to the ring.  
  
"Hello," Paige answered, rather breathlessly. Phoebe raised her eyebrows. Suggestive comments immediately ruptured in her head, making her grin.  
  
"Paige, sorry to interrupt your obviously vigorous engagement," she began teasingly, "but I figured you could get your... excersize in some other time. I've got some interesting news to tell you!"  
  
Paige took a deep breath. She didn't know whether to laugh or yell. Deciding on the former, she assumed her most sarcastic expression, completely ignoring the fact that her sister couldn't see it. "Well, Phoebe," she countered, "I actually can't get my excersize later. You see, he's going out of town today. This was his going away party."  
  
Phoebe nearly choked. Was she serious? She coudn't be. Could she? "Wel...I...I'm...," Phoebe stammered uncertainly. Paige burst into giggles. "Oh...you," she scolded, laughing.  
  
"Hey, you started it," Paige told her smugly, "I jsut happen to be better at it than you are."  
  
Phoebe stopped laughing long enough to get riled up. "Trust me, you aren't," she returned, a taunting edge to her tone, "If I happen to let you win sometimes, that is only so you'll continue to try. What fun would it be for me if you stopped playing?"  
  
Paige made a childish sound, pretending to sulk. Phoebe heard the pout in her voice and nearly smiled. She wished she could see the look on her sister's face. "So, anyway, what were you going to tell me?," Paige asked, recovering from their earlier bickering.  
  
"Oh yeah!," Phoebe exclaimed, surprised she'd managed to forget, if only briefly, "Some guy wants to make P3 into a CHAIN of P3s!"  
  
"Wait! Are you serious?," Paige demanded incredulously. Phoebe nodded solemnly, remembered that Paige couldn't see the nod, and stopped, embarrassed.  
  
"As a demon attack," Phoebe answered, smiling, "So Piper is going to be out of town for the weekend, attending seminars and getting educated on expansion."  
  
"Well, other than Piper being out of town, this is great news!," Paige exulted, "So P3 is having little P3s? Aw, I'm so proud." Phoebe laughed and rolled her eyes. Sometimes, Paige was the most immature person she knew. Then, she remembered how well she knew herself.  
  
"So, when are you getting home?," Phoebe asked suddenly, "Because I was thinking we should do something...stay in and watch movies...something, jsut the two of us. What do you think?"  
  
"Sounds wonderful," Paige returned, "Especially after the day I've had. See you in say...three and a half hours?"  
  
"I'll be here," Phoebe assured pleasantly.  
  
"Ok. Love ya sis," Paige replied. Phoebe echoed her last words and hung up on her end. Grinning, she began to plan her now-full evening. We'll watch some movies, namely Kill It Before It dies. Now that Piper is gone, I don't have to listen to her whine about watching "a horror movie with horrible dialogue and corny actors". That's a plus. So why do I feel so strange about her absence?, Phoebe asked herself, trying to shake the feeling. Frightening though it was, she couldn't seem to come up with an acceptable reason. Instead, she brushed it aside and focused on the fun she would be having in jsut a few hours. Piper was perfectly fine.  
  
Piper couldn't breathe, not even enough to sustain herself. Nothing she tried eased the pressure in her chest, which only succeeded in making the unobtainable oxygen even harder to reach. Struggling to stay calm, she focused her thoughts on happy memories, anything to take her mind off of the blinding panic which consumed her. He was going to hurt her, torture her, and she knew, jsut as she knew she would not be escaping, that she deserved the impending pain. The knowledge horrified her, registered in her mind as a realization of childhood fear, but it never occured to her as wrong.  
  
Matt watched her carefully, enjoying the easily-read emotions playing across her face. He had never expected her to be quite this effortlessly convinced. God had known. Piper was perfect for His plan, Matt shouldn't have been surprised by the turn of events. A voice whispered commands to him, making him go completely still. He had to concentrate. Then, he moved, obeying God's voice.  
  
"Piper," he whispered, caressing her hips in long, pleasurable motions. Piper nearly gagged. He was repulsive to her, but he barely noticed. "I'm going to cleanse you from your former life, my angel. Then, we can continue with God's plans for you. Are you ready to move forward in our new life?," he asked her gently. He didn't care about her response, his desire was too strong. Piper groaned, starting to cry silently. For a moment, he wondered why God would tell him to do this, when he could only remember passages from the Bible, isisting this very action was wrong. Swiftly, he banished those thoughts. She needed him to do this. God had told him to do this. He longed to do this. So, he did, while Piper screamed and begged for him to stop.  
  
AN: Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter...Jsut so you know, the story won't be centered around the rape. It is jsut one of the many horrors to come...*smiles evilly* Review please!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	6. Cleansing Part 2

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Charmed. I'm almost positive it's illegal to do what I'm going to do with these characters...ah well, don't sue. It's only fun and fiction!  
  
AN: Thanks Chub, johnnydeppfanatic13, Revul Ylloh, Chikalita13, Tigerdrake, wAnNaBpIpEr, reader, and line100 for your reviews. Special thanks to my sisters Charmed Princess, Missy Paige, and Starring Piper(my twin and my twintastic muse) jsut 'cuz I love'em.  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Piper could not believe he had raped her, and yet the alarming reality kept invading her thoughts. Tears burned in her eyes, but she was too tired to cry. The sound of a shower running reached her ears. He was ridding himself of any uncleanness she had brought with her. She barely registered the realization before releasing an agonized sob. There were no tears to accompany it, only the soul-shattering cry of a ruined life. It was so very hard to breathe. She had the overwhelming desire to vomit, and she couldn't remember the last time she had felt so defiled, so used, so...dirty. It hurt to think of the terrible ways he had violated her, promising her that he was cleansing her from her past. She certainly did not feel cleansed.   
  
The noise created by rushing water ceased, and Piper trembled violently, knowing he would be returning soon. Silence fell heavily around her. She could not handle silence. Her heart beat reverberated in her ears, keeping time with her ragged breathing. Finally, footsteps broke the quiet. That was much worse. She had to get away. Shrinking against the back of the beige couch she had been tossed on, Piper struggled to make herself as small as possible. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, repeating the same phrase. If I can't see him, maybe he will no longer be real. She knew she was kidding herself.  
  
"Hello, angel," Matt greeted softly. Piper whimpered helplessly. What was he going to do to her? "Now, now, darling," he purred, approaching her huddled figure, "There is no need to be scared. My Lord assured me that all will be well, once your cleansing is complete."   
  
Piper's mind raced, along with her heart. He wasn't finished with her? She nearly broke down, unable to bear the thought of being once again reduced to a mere speck, an object of lust. Matt smoothed her hair gently, intending it to be an act of comfort. Piper flinched away from his hand, emitting another whimper.  
  
"Did I hurt you?," he asked regretfully, "Oh, Angel, I would never hurt you on purpose. You have to know that." He paused, gauging her reaction. A tear rolled down Piper's partially-hidden cheek. Matt refrained from wiping it away, unwilling to see her recoil from him again. "Please, Piper, don't fight me. We must do it this way, otherwise I would never have...I...please, don't be so upset," he pleaded, his tone pathetically thin.  
  
Piper didn't react, couldn't react. It took all of her energy to force back the scream that was building in her throat. Mercifully, Matt backed away from her, never taking his eyes off of her stricken expression. He was unaccustomed to this feeling of...guilt. He was allowing himself to doubt God, and that was definitely unacceptable. Callously, he brushed aside the emotion, determined to complete his assigned task.   
  
Piper opened her eyes jsut in time to see him advancing towards her. She noted that he seemed less apologetic and unconsciously began to prepare herself. She couldn't stop the fear from welling up, but she was determined to keep it from showing. His words resounded in her mind. Terror never fades, sweetheart. She had to prove him wrong. She knew she could fail even in that.  
  
"Come on, Piper," he coaxed, leaning down to scoop her into his arms, "Let's finish this."  
  
Piper concentrated on forcing back the tremors threatening to control her, ignoring the fact that his face with close enough to touch, to scratch, to disfigure. For probably the hundredth time, she felt a bitter anger at the bonds encircling her wrists. They had kept her from fighting the monster who carried her. She didn't twist her hands to try, once again, to free herself. The skin was much too tender. Piper was almost certain she had felt blood trickling slowly down her arm. He wasn't thoughtful enough to check, and she would never ask him.  
  
"Alright, darling," he said cheerfully, setting her down. Piper glanced around, wondering silently why he had brought her into the bathroom. She noticed the tub, half-full, looked very inviting. "That's right, baby," he said soothingly, "Jsut a little bath."   
  
Piper glared at him. "A little bath" could mean anything and, though she would never admit it to him, she was scared of the possibilities. Matt moved towards her, kneeling at her feet. "Now," he began, looking at her sternly, "If you try to kick me when I undo these knots, you'll be unconscious while we do this. I won't allow you to fight me, even though I love you." Piper jerked at those words. He loved her? Fine, he could pretend to love her all he wanted. She despised him and felt the urge to make that clear.  
  
"So, you want me to be a lamb and cooperate?," she asked meekly. He wondered whether she was being acquiescent or only getting ready to tell him off. He didn't have to wait long for an answer. "Sorry, love, I can't do that for you. See, if I can do anything to make you miserable, I will. Payback's a bitch, and you'll be meeting that bitch quite often," she spat hatefully. Matt drew back, a cold smile on his face.  
  
"Very well, love," he returned, mocking her, "Have it your way." He turned and walked out, leaving her alone with her thoughts. Dismayed, Piper berated herself for her slip-up. She should have kept her mouth shut. Now, he was going to make her atone for what she'd said.   
  
Matt walked back, that same cold little smile twisting his features. Piper didn't glance up, only stared at her feet. Matt approached her, kneeling to get in her face. Piper met his eyes.  
  
"Oh, now you want to be obedient?," he asked maliciously. Piper didn't blink or make a sound. "Good, you'll be more affected if you're conscious while I finish with you."  
  
Viciously, Matt ripped the rumpled, soiled clothing from her, not bothering to untie the ropes binding her. He tossed her into the tub, letting the cold shock her. He smiled when she gasped, enjoying her suffering. "Too cold, darling?," he taunted. Piper immediately wiped any expression from her face. He didn't deserve a reaction, and he wasn't going to get one.  
  
Matt grabbed a nearby sponge and dipped it into the water. "This is holy water," he informed her, "blessed by a priest nearby. God was merciful when He allowed it to touch you without burning. Thank Him for his graciousness."   
  
Piper heard the commanding tone and knew he expected her to say it aloud. No chance, she thought defiantly. He began to run the sponge roughly over her forehead. She nearly winced at the harsh contrast between the two, but managed to hold back. He scraped at her furiously in one spot, watching intently for sign of blood. He moved along her face efficiently, working his way down. Piper felt sick. She knew his plan now, she knew what he would do. Pain tingled through her. The first trickle of blood reached her lip, and she shut her mouth tightly. He noticed the blood and immediately softened the pressure. He didn't intend to draw blood. Resignedly, she tried to think of ways to occupy her mind. She couldn't allow herself to dwell on what he was doing.  
  
"You see now, don't you?," he asked excitedly, seeing her resignation, "You know that I must do this. Not for me, but for you. Even your body must be created again. The top layers of your skin are contaminated, filled with your old, sinful life. Once I remove those layers, you will be rejuvenated. A completely new person, physically at least. We'll work on your spirit, sweetheart. That comes with time." Piper's stomach turned. He sounded so gleeful. It was sickening.  
  
He stopped at her shoulders, deciding this would be enough for now. Piper glanced up hopefully, praying he was finished, knowing that he wasn't. "Jsut a break," he told her, seeing the question in her eyes. Piper sighed and fought back tears. When was this going to end? When could she go back home? One glimpse of the fierce possessiveness radiating in his eyes and she knew the answer. It was never going to happen. Her sisters were as good as dead to her. Tears began to flow. That thought was unbearable. 


	7. Revealing The Truth

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Charmed. I'm almost positive it's illegal to do what I'm going to do with these characters...ah well, don't sue. It's only fun and fiction!  
  
AN: Thanks Charmed4ever, TKPiper,Chub, pippergurl, Revul Ylloh, lulusa (times 5, you rock!!),wAnNaBpIpEr, reader, SparklingPhoenixAshes, Alcandre, Starring Piper (TWIN!), fury piper (times two), michelle, and line100 for your reviews. Special thanks to my sisters Charmed Princess, Missy Paige, and Starring Piper(my twin and my twintastic muse) jsut 'cuz I love'em.  
  
AN2: Alright, I can't believe I never thought of this before...If anyone is offended by Matt's devotion to "God" and his supposed mission, I deeply apologize. He is insane, I jsut kinda assumed everyone would see that...Yeah, I know, stupid me. Well, I really hope no one has been offended so deeply that they cannot continue, but if this story bothers ANYONE that much, let me know, I'll take it off of ffn. My intention is not to hurt, only to write something for people to enjoy. Kaysies, I'll stop my speech now.   
  
Chapter 7  
  
Leo still could not understand why the Elders couldn't help him locate Piper. He was frustrated, to the boiling point even, and the pent-up emotion was starting to transform into rage. They had worked continuously, but still, there was no answer. He paced outside of Their conference, struggling to maintain some kind of patience. Finally, in the middle of a vivid mental-image of himself and about three or four Elders battling with barbaric-looking weapons, he was called inside to discuss what would happen.  
  
"Leo," the Elder closest to him greeted solemnly. Leo nodded, keeping the flood of words he longed to say in check. "We want you to talk to her sisters and get the mortal authorities involved. There is nothing magical to be done here."   
  
Leo stared at Him blankly for a long moment, unable to comprehend what he was being told. He turned his gaze, settling on each grim face in turn. "There's nothing more You can do?," he asked incredulously, feeling his last hope shatter.   
  
No one spoke, and Leo knew he had to go to the girls. He walked away from the Elders, his shoulders sagging in defeat. What was he going to tell them? What about when they asked, as they surely would, why he hadn't immediately gone to Piper when he had first felt her fear? How did he explain about the severed bond between his former wife and himself? Leo sighed, rehearsed what he would say in his head, then orbed down to the Manor.  
  
All coherent sentences, words, and even thoughts fled from him. Phoebe sat in front of him, staring up quizzically, one eyebrow raised. "Leo. What are you doing here? It's been...well, since the break-up. Piper told you never to return here," she said coldly, then paused to take in the fear in his eyes. "What is it?," she demanded. She knew immediately that something was seriously wrong, jsut as she knew it dealt with Piper. Leo lowered his eyes, trying to think of the easiest way to tell her the horrible truth.  
  
"Phoebe...I am not really sure where to start," he told her sadly. Phoebe waited impatiently, crossing her arms. He hated the cold glare in her eyes, but it's presence was his fault. "Piper was....kidnapped yesterday morning, by a man, a mortal. I tried to sense her, the Elders tried, but it was to no avail. Now, They want you to get the police involved. They...They said there wasn't a magical way to get her away from him...if...," Leo stopped himself. It wouldn't do Phoebe, or him, any good to think about the possibility that Piper could be dead. Leo shuddered inwardly. Phoebe looked terrified...and a little angry.  
  
"Leo, if this is some disgusting ploy of yours to get Piper back home, away from the guy who she's out of town with, I'm going to personally make sure that the only "guiding" you'll ever be doing will be guiding yourself off of the tip of a Darklighter's arrow. Got it?," Phoebe growled hatefully. Her stomach churned painfully, anger eating at her insides. She knew it was she who longed for her accusation to be true, but only because it would ensure Piper's safety. She watched him carefully, waiting for a strange reaction. She saw hurt reflect in his eyes.   
  
"Phoebe, I swear to you, this is all true. She was taken from the Manor yesterday morning, there is no way she went out of town with any guy," he answered, doing his best to stay calm. Phoebe could only nod. Leo wasn't lying. She wished he was.  
  
"Damn," she muttered under her breath. Her next step would be to call Paige, but she wanted to delay that particular duty for at least a few minutes. Paige, she knew, would charge home, guns blazing. It was a "Prue" reaction, and it often pushed them into bad situations. It was imperative that they make all of the right decisions, carefully plan their method of attack, or else Piper would end up dead. If she already wasn't...  
  
Phoebe sighed heavily and made herself move. Paige needed to be notified, but so did Darryl and the rest of the police force. She grabbed the telephone and dialed Paige's cell phone number, taking the easiest job first. The ring seemed to go on forever. Paige answered, on the second ring, and Phoebe couldn't force a single word.  
  
"Hello??," Paige demanded, for the third time. Phoebe took a deep breath, then resigned to tell Paige what was going on, but not over the phone.  
  
"Paige, it's me," Phoebe said, her voice shaking slightly, "I need you to come home. Something...something's happened. Please?"  
  
"I'll be right there," Paige responded immediately, sounding worried. Phoebe hung up, closed her eyes, and rested her head against the nearby wall. She needed to call the police. She didn't have the nerve. Calling the police, getting the ball rolling...It would all make the whole thing REAL, and she didn't want to deal with that.  
  
Piper had no idea what to think, say, feel, or do. She was numb, all of her. She could barely feel herself breathing, or her heart beating rhythmically. She wasn't aware of her surroundings, or of Matt cooing to her about how great their life would be in such a short time. She could only concentrate on one phrase, one fragment of information. She wanted to tear it from her head, rip it from her thoughts. She could do nothing but let it repeat...over and over and over again. Each time, it drilled another dagger into her aching heart, and still, she did not feel it. She tried to feel some sort of anger, some sort of grief. She couldn't. It would have scared her, had she been able to feel that emotion.  
  
"Where are my sisters, Matt," she'd demanded. He had looked at her so coldly. She could see his slow smile, and the satisfaction in his eyes, even now, long after the fact.  
  
"Dead," he'd answered simply.  
  
Piper closed her eyes, trying to draw some kind of reaction. The cold that had swept through her wouldn't thaw. Nothing could break through the ice...until he tried to touch her. Piper jerked away violently.  
  
"Don't. Ever. Touch. Me. Again," she hissed, her tone dangerously low. Matt looked fairly surprised by her reaction, and he tried to brush a strand of hair from her still-raw forehead. "Didn't you hear me?," she screamed, wishing more than ever she could have freedom of her hands, "I'll kill you for what you've done."  
  
Matt grabbed her and pulled her up, pushing his face close to hers. "I own you," he told her softly, "I can touch you anywhere I want to...caress your skin...ANYTHING I feel the desire for. You cannot stop me....you are mine to do with as I please."  
  
Piper crumpled, finally feeling the tears she'd been expecting fall from her eyes. "Why?," she asked through her sobs, "You had me, I wasn't going anywhere...Why my sisters? They never hurt you. Never did anything at all to deserve...to deserve..." Piper broke down completely, curling her knees into her chest and weeping. Matt observed her calmly. He felt no sympathy, only cold, hard anger at her earlier outburst.  
  
"They were poison," he spat hatefully, "As you were, before I gave you a chance to be free from your sins." Piper only cried harder, curling even further into herself. Matt yanked her hair, forcing her to look at him. "Don't shed tears over those whores," he ordered, then turned and left the room.  
  
Piper couldn't block his words from her mind, or the pain the words created from her soul. Whores. Her sisters weren't evil, weren't whores..she wasn't a horrible sinner. Was she? Piper struggled to remember their beautiful, kind faces and panicked. She couldn't bring an image, any image, of them to her mind. She was forgetting her own flesh and blood. Her sisters, her whole life...It nearly tore her in two. Frantically, she recalled their names, using that as glue to hold herself together. Shuddering, she whispered them to herself, crying as she struggled to remember the details she'd kept treasured in her heart for so long. And couldn't.  
  
"Paige..Phoebe...I love you...I'm sorry...I love you..." 


	8. Words

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Charmed. I'm almost positive it's illegal to do what I'm going to do with these characters...ah well, don't sue. It's only fun and fiction!  
  
AN: This is going to be my last chapter for a little while, because I'm leaving until next Friday. I'll try to work on this while I'm gone so I'll have something to post when I get back. Sorries, guyz! Thanks everyone who reviewed! Y'all are the best!  
  
Starring Piper: Hey sweetie...I'll miss you while I'm gone! :'(:'( Ttyimh and lwyimh, though! LYLAL! PTTT!   
  
Chapter 8  
  
Words. Feelings. Emotions. Love. Sorrow. Grief. Heart-ache. Loss. Meaningless words when faced with the real deal. It was so Silly...thinking up these ridiculous sounds in order to convey emotion. There it was again. Empty words. Yet, even thoughts came in this form, there wasn't a way to avoid using them. It was so frustrating, so irritating.  
  
Piper couldn't stop the erratic games her mind was playing, couldn't stop the incessant, insane ranting. Truthfully, she didn't see the point of trying to put an end to it, anyway. All she had left were her thoughts, if they were even truly hers. Could someone be considered worthy to live if that person had nothing but empty, useless, meaningless, counter-productive WORDS? No friends, not that she had ever had any in the first place. No self-worth. Matt had taken that from her. No family. They had all been ripped away, in one form or another.   
  
Leo, driven away by her own anger and his bitterness. How could she have known, when they'd started, that he would leave her? Now, thinking about it, she damn well should have! With all of the obstacles they had faced in their relationship, how could she have believed their marriage would keep problems from popping up and ruining their almost-happy lives? She had, though, as foolish as it had been, she'd believed in happily ever after. She was a damn idiot. Of course, she could never have foreseen HOW it would end...not in the way it had unfolded, not even close.  
  
~Flashback~  
  
Leo orbed in, alerting Piper immediately to his presence by stalking past her. Piper glared at his back angrily, tapping him on the shoulder when she could catch up to him. Leo whirled around, staring at her coldly.  
  
"I only came by to check that the Manor wasn't in complete chaos...I see that everything is fine," he stated, his words peppered with suppressed fury. Piper chose to ignore his tone, and instead focused on her own anger.  
  
"Really. Nice of you, that was," she said, a fake smile plastered across her face, "I mean, after...what? Two weeks without a word from you, we might have very well been obliterated by an extremely powerful demon. Of course, that wouldn't have mattered, would it?" Leo sneered at her, his eyes narrowing hatefully.  
  
"I cannot be wasting my time worrying about you. That is what got Selene killed! You know that, and yet you continually throw it in my face. I have a responsibility to OTHER PEOPLE, Piper. Why can't you quit focusing so much on your own damn needs, and start thinking about theirs?," Leo demanded hotly. Piper was shaking with rage.  
  
"You are my husband, Leo. You are supposed to be here....That is what our vows meant, or didn't you know that?," Piper returned, her voice completely flat.  
  
"I know that our 'vows' got someone killed. You and your need for me to always be here got someone killed. Now, even after you've seen what happened, you can only see our marriage, and not innocent lives. Don't you understand? This is YOUR fault in the first place! Selene was calling me, but you insisted that I had to stay, that a demon needed to be gotten rid of. She was dying while you raved about potions and my commitment, or lack there of, to our relationship. Your nagging KILLED HER, Piper. I can barely look at you, barely tolerate your selfishness...every time I come here. Don't you get it? I can't come around because of you, because every time I look at you I am reminded of what I should have done...Told you to shut the hell up and gone to save her. When I finally left, it was too late. Damnit, if you had jsut let me go...," Leo finally broke off, emotion choking off his last words.   
  
Piper gazed at the floor, her eyes filling with tears. His words had cut her deeply, leaving her with a jagged pain that nearly robbed her of her breath. She could not meet his eyes, could not shake his words from her ears. Everything in her mind screamed at her, assuring her that he was only lashing out because he was hurting. Still, the doubt was there, and it was far-reaching. Leo stood before her, his breathing ragged, crying quietly. Finally, she looked up, her eyes reflecting a hatred Leo had never seen there before.  
  
"Get out," she told him, her voice shaking, "Get out and don't ever come back here." Leo looked helpless. She saw him start to apologize. Silently, she shook her head. He stood there, trying to implore her forgiveness with his eyes. She narrowed hers and let rage seethe inside of her. "Get out, get out, get OUT!," she screamed, "You heartless son of a bitch, get out of my house NOW. Go!" Leo cast one last, long look in her direction before silently orbing away, leaving her to break down completely.  
  
~End Flashback~  
  
Leo was gone, but he wasn't the only one. He was only the beginning of a chain reaction of losses. Maybe not the beginning. Her mother first, then Grams, then Prue. Piper had thought it would stop with Prue, that maybe Prue had ended some horrible curse put on her family that had never been discovered.  
  
Now, though. Now she knew what had been inevitable from the beginning. She had been destined to end up alone, without anyone to love her or to love. Those brief flashes of happiness seemed so far away. So many things were distant, illusions from someone else's life.   
  
Sisters. Another of the endless string of irrelevant words. At least, it was since Piper had lost what gave substance to the expression. How did one cope with losing her entire life in one quick, clean motion? It wasn't so clean...in the wake of their deaths was pain, tears, and guilt. Piper tried to hold back the sobs building in her throat. In the end, she surrendered to them completely. She only wanted the agony to cease. She longed for the times she had had with her sisters. It didn't matter that they had taken her for granted. She had taken THEM for granted, as well. She needed them, and they were gone. Of course, it only served her right. She hadn't appreciated them the way they had deserved.   
  
The world was empty without her sisters. She didn't feel the need to fight for her own life, not anymore. She had no one to go back to, no one to rush up to her and hug her...tell her she had been missed. She was only a smudge, a speck no one knew or cared about. Matt was the only one who wanted her around at all, and he desired her only for his own sick games.   
  
Perhaps, she thought to herself, That is all I am useful for. Piper could hardly stand the thought, and yet it registered as truth. Inside, she felt herself wither and die. A human being's sole purpose depended on need. No one need her, no one at all. 


	9. Caught!

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Charmed. I'm almost positive it's illegal to do what I'm going to do with these characters...ah well, don't sue. It's only fun and fiction!  
  
AN: Thanks to Anarra, pippergurl, Chub, wAnNaBpIpEr, furypiper, line100, versatilecutie, mletts, and prues-clues for your reviews!!! I love feedback, and y'all all have been wonderful! I love you!!!! *grins*   
  
Starring Piper: Aly, hon', this story would never have made it to ffn without you, so this chapter is yours all the way. I hope you enjoy it! Love ya, sweetie!  
  
Chapter 9  
  
Matt hunched over the handcuffs he was moderating, hurriedly wrapping softer cloth around the harsh metal. Piper needed to be freed of the ropes he had used in the beginning, but he had been too preoccupied with the cleansing process to look that far ahead. Today, though...She had started bleeding pretty heavily from all of the friction between the her skin and the ties. He felt guiltily, and a little foolish, for not thinking about it before the incident. Holding up his newest 'invention', he snapped one of the cuffs over his own wrist, testing the comfort level. He could still feel the hard metal beneath the cushioning, but it was barely noticeable. It would do, for now. He grabbed the pole leaning against the desk he was working at and made his way into the living room.  
  
"Hello, sweetheart," Matt greeted her sullen form, bending to kiss her cheek. Piper stared up at him blankly from her prostrate position on the sofa. With a soft smile, Matt reached down and began undoing the blood-covered knots in the ropes around her wrists. Piper didn't react to the freedom at all. She sat, unmoving, while he finished with her hands and worked on her ankle's bondage.  
  
"You sit tight, honey," he told her, straightening up, "I'm going to get you set up real nicely here. You poor skin can rest a little...Isn't it nice to have those things off?" Matt gestured toward the small pile of rope at his feet. Piper didn't' respond. Sighing, he went to work. He secured the long pole -now equipped with a chain about twelve long attached to its middle- across the top of the room's ceiling. He fastened the end of the handcuffs he'd fixed onto the end of the chain, then turned to smile at his beloved.  
  
"Here you go, Piper," he said graciously, spreading his arms to indicate his handiwork, "Now you can walk anywhere you want in this room!"  
  
Piper did nothing to stop him from putting the other end of those handcuffs on her left wrist, nor did she protest when he kissed her lips lingeringly. She continued to stare, unseeingly, into space. Matt barely noticed her unresponsiveness, he was so wrapped up in his own ingenious.   
  
"Try it out, baby," he commanded her, still smiling. When she didn't move, he grabbed her arm and jerked her along with him, back and forth across the room. Sometimes, the chain would snag against the furniture, but it would be perfect for a little while, until he was certain Piper wouldn't try to escape. He glance at her blank stare and smiled. That would probably a lot sooner than he had ever imagined. God was the master of flawless design!  
  
Piper sagged in relief once he left the room. It was difficult to keep pretending to be so accommodating. Plus, her eyes were burning from not blinking when he looked at her, and she was a little dizzy from all of the movement. For the past four days, he had left her on that couch, unable to get up and walk around. Now, all of a sudden, he wanted her to be active. Nice. She studied her new confinement in dismay. There was no way she was going to be able to get out of the handcuffs unless she somehow made her fist inches smaller. Although, if she could get the covering off of the metal she felt underneath it....  
  
Piper jerked her wrist downward with as much strength as she could muster, but it proved to be to no avail. The metal rod across the ceiling did not move an inch. Sighing in frustration, she began to work at the cloth around her wrist, using her nails for a kind of scissors. The fabric tore after a while, but only slightly. At this rate, she thought to herself irritatedly, she would be finished jsut in time to die of old age. Increasing her efforts, she began to make progress, albeit slowly. Once she go through the first two layers of cloth, she could shred the rest easily.   
  
The metal surfaced, and Piper held her breath hopefully. Making her hand as small as possible, she tried to wriggle it out of its confinement. After moments, her hand slipped free painfully. She rubbed her hand for a second, listening for any sound. She heard nothing and moved stealthily across the room, towards the closest exit. Carefully, she tried the knob. It didn't budge. She turned it with a little more force, and still nothing happened. It was then she finally noticed the combination lock on the latch near the top of the door. She swore under her breath. Biting her lip, she forced back tears and started towards the open doorway a few feet away, determined to find another exit.  
  
She quietly tiptoed into a kitchen, noticing a door that looked promising. Her eyes strayed to the drawers near her hand, and her mind turned to what could be hidden inside. A knife...If she wanted to get revenge for her sisters' deaths, what better way to do so than to kill their murderer? Piper toyed with the idea for a few moments, but she knew she could never kill a mortal, insane or not, without paying with guilt for the rest of her life. Although, she thought scornfully to herself, if you keep standing here, there isn't going to BE a 'rest of your life'. With that, she hurried to the door, reaching out to take hold of the doorknob.   
  
"That was NOT a smart thing to do," Matt said from behind her. Piper twisted the knob, trying desperately to get away. Matt stepped towards her, reaching out to grab a fistful of her hair. Piper's heart sank as she realized that the escape she had been so close to achieving was going to fail. The exit was blocked, dangling in front of her but out of her reach entirely.  
  
"Hands off," Piper ordered with all of the anger she could muster. She knew he would punish her for her little excursion, and she trembled inside. However, it was jsut not in her to allow him to see her fear.  
  
Matt brought back his hand and slapped her, then twisted her around. He brought her arm around her back and wrenched it upwards. Piper cried out, in both shock and pain. The sound further angered him, and roughly, he turned her to face him once again. Piper's eyes widened as his fist plummeted towards her face, then squeezed tight, reacting to pain with when it connected with her nose. He was in for blood. Piper tensed, her hand cupped over her bleeding nose, awaiting the next blow.  
  
AN: If any of you read my Grief and Rejection series, I posted an announcement about them, so I hope you will take the time to read it. Thanks. 


	10. Last Hope

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Charmed. I'm almost positive it's illegal to do what I'm going to do with these characters...ah well, don't sue. It's only fun and fiction!  
  
AN: Thanks to fury harper, pippergurl, line100, piperperson, versatilecutie, Chub, lulusa (twice), prues clues, and Starring Piper (TWIN!!) for your fantastic reviews!!! I love feedback, and y'all all have been wonderful! I love you!!!! *grins*   
  
Starring Piper: Hey sweetie, I guess I finally managed to work on this story after all... This chapter is for you because "you've been my inspiration". Love ya hon'!  
  
Chapter 10  
  
"What do you mean there is no way to find her," Phoebe demanded sharply, throwing an accusatory look in Darryl's general direction. Darryl made a helpless gesture, unable to say any more.  
  
Phoebe began pacing the living room, occasionally glancing back at Darryl and Paige, who were sitting side by side on a nearby couch. Darryl watched her frantic movements wearily, hating the news he had had to bring as much as the sisters did. Paige got to her feet, standing directly in Phoebe's path. When Phoebe reached her sister, Paige placed her hands on her shoulders, squeezing them gently to get Phoebe's full attention.  
  
"Honey, you are going to have to calm down," Paige told her, "All we can do right now is hold it together and try to find some way to get her back."  
  
"We have already tried everything, Paige," Phoebe returned, her tone nearing hysterical, "So, I am going to do what I have left to do, the one thing I haven't done yet. Freak out." Paige squared her shoulders, refusing to move when Phoebe tried to push past her.  
  
"Look, this isn't going to help anyone, not you, not Piper. The police are doing all they can and-"  
  
"And getting nowhere," Phoebe interrupted angrily, "How am I supposed to react to this, Paige? Sit and wait, nice and quiet, until someone stumbles across her dead body in some alleyway? I can't do that. She's my sister." Paige ignored the implications of that statement, choosing not to defend herself. Right now, she had to concentrate on calming her sister.  
  
"That isn't what I am asking you to do," Paige insisted, "All I am saying is that by breaking down, we lose a member of our search team, a vital member. Phoebe, you have been practicing the craft longer than I have, you may have some spell somewhere in your mind jsut waiting to spring up and shout, "Hey! I know the way to get Piper back!". If you lose it now, you are hindering that. Is that what you want to do, Phoebe?"  
  
Phoebe looked down, fighting back the tears that had been threatening to surface since Darryl's arrival. Paige stood quietly, waiting for Phoebe's reaction. After several moments, Phoebe walked to a nearby chair, sinking into it and wrapping her arms around herself. Paige followed and stood behind her. Gently stroking her sister's hair, Paige brought her gaze to meet Darryl's guilt-ridden eyes.  
  
"What can we do now?," she asked softly. Darryl shook his head sadly.  
  
"There is nothing you can do, aside from what you are already doing. This doesn't look good...I hate to say it, but you may not be getting Piper back, at least not alive," Darryl responded quietly, forcing himself to be brutally honest. Paige choked back a sob rising in her throat and composed herself.  
  
"We will," she returned evenly, "I know she is coming back."  
  
Piper cringed as Matt snapped the bare metal handcuff around her wrist, this time so tightly that the cold steel dug into her skin, making deep impressions. Piper glared at the man through the eye that wasn't swollen shut, but Matt took no notice of her hateful stare.   
  
"This will teach you," he told her, more for his own assurance than for any benefit to her, "I tried to be nice about it, but you wouldn't let me be what my nature calls for me to be, so now I will treat you like a prisoner instead of a guest. When you decide you would like to stay willingly, then we can work on our trust issues." Matt smirked at his little joke, watching her face pale, aside from the various bruises he had given her.  
  
"I was already a prisoner, and I will never agree to stay here voluntarily. You disgust me," Piper spat, clinging to her anger to keep from whimpering. Piper tasted blood and knew her lip had cracked open again. Matt chuckled, wagging his finger closely in front of her face. Piper had the strong urge to bite him, but she didn't need to be beaten again. She had barely endured the first round.  
  
"I will leave you alone to lick your wounds in peace," he said graciously, "If you'd like, you can try to escape again, but I doubt you will find it so easy this time." Piper bit her tongue, forcing back any comments that would keep him in the room. She needed a reprieve from his awful presence. Matt turned at the doorway to wink at her, and Piper lunged towards him before she could think the action through. The chain ripped her backwards, jerking her arm painfully. Matt laughed loudly all the way down the hall. Piper cried out and sank to the floor, hot tears slipping down her battered cheeks. Through her good eye, she carefully surveyed the damage he had done. The worst of it, as far as she could tell, were the injuries to her ribs, which he had enjoyed kicking repeatedly only minutes earlier. It hurt to take deep breaths, or even shallow ones, and her stomach was one giant bruise. The rest of her body was covered in scrapes and bruises, varying in color and degree of pain.   
  
Piper lay down gently, longing desperately for the peaceful oblivion sleep brought to her. She was completely exhausted, but her aching limbs protested as she shifted around, trying to find a somewhat comfortable position. In the end, she gave up the search, choosing to curl into a ball. It hurt badly, sending sharp pains up and down her abdomen, but Piper still found comfort in the familiar position.   
  
Sleep would not come, and Piper instead busied herself with her next plan of action. Judging from the agony she felt at the moment, she knew that it would be at least a week or two before she would be strong enough to try anything more. So, she began to plot her behavior for the time she would be forced to stay trapped, deciding to gradually tone down her resentment towards him. It would take a lot of effort, and some fine acting skills, but Piper could think of no other way to escape. She would have to use him to get out, and to do that, she would need to convince him that she was "enjoying her stay" with him. It was a revolting thought, to act kindly towards him, even fondly. Still, she had to if she was ever going to get away from him. Sighing, Piper resigned herself to what she had to do, and finally slipped into uneasy slumber. 


	11. Friendship?

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Charmed. I'm almost positive it's illegal to do what I'm going to do with these characters...ah well, don't sue. It's only fun and fiction!  
  
AN: Thanks to Revul Ylloh, Chub, versatilecutie, line100, pippergurl, fury piper, JMK, lulusa, prues clues, Starring Piper (TWIN!), daria, and Amanda for the WONDERFUL reviews! Y'all are awesome, and I appreciate your dedicated reading. This story wouldn't be here without your support. Thanks soo much!   
  
Starring Piper: Hey sweetie, I wish you'd have been able to read this before you had to get off, but parents will be parents...Anywayz, I hope you like this chapter. Love ya!  
  
Chapter 11  
  
Piper awoke to a fierce grip on her arm. She lifted her eyes to the face of her assailant and forced back the wave of contempt. Today would begin her acting debut. With a timid smile, Piper raised herself to her feet. Pain speared through her, and she swayed forward, dizziness overcoming her other senses. Matt grabbed her other arm, receiving a sharp gasp from Piper. Gingerly, he steadied her, feeling a stab of unwelcome guilt.  
  
"Easy now," he coaxed softly, "Take a few slow breaths. There you go."  
  
Piper obeyed easily, letting herself relax a little. Matt brushed a few strands of hair from her eyes, and she jumped away from the contact. With a small, embarrassed smile, Piper met his eyes, trying with all of her ability to convey her new agreeable attitude. Matt eyed her suspiciously. Piper groaned inwardly at her stupidity. Of course he would never believe her if she transformed from defiant and bitter to docile and submissive in jsut a few, short hours. She allowed a little hatred to show through, backing away from him a few steps. Matt seemed satisfied and gave her a sneering smile.  
  
"How did you sleep?," he asked. Piper shrugged and did her best to look indifferent. "I trust that means fine. I brought you breakfast."  
  
Piper's eyes followed the wide sweeping gesture Matt made with his arms and fell on a tray of bland food. A couple of rice cakes accompanied by what looked like syrup did not appeal to Piper in the least. Nevertheless, she approached it, lowering her gaze so that she would not have to look at his condescending expression and kneeling to be level with the tray. As she ate, Matt watched her silently. She could feel his eyes on her back. It made her skin crawl. Once finished, she got to her feet and glanced at him.  
  
"Good girl," Matt praised, "It is so much easier when you do as you're told."  
  
Matt turned to leave, and Piper panicked a little. She was worried she had not set her plan into motion, and she needed to do something concrete to assure herself that she was doing what she could. Wracking her brain, Piper came up with an excuse to keep him in the room.  
  
"Wait...," she called quietly. Matt turned around expectantly. Piper looked at her feet. "Can you...I mean, it's been so long since I have had a decent conversation...Can we talk for a little while?" Matt glared at her silently for a moment, bothered by the seemingly innocent, simple request.  
  
"Don't think you're fooling me for a minute," Matt snarled. But he didn't leave. Instead, he sat a few feet away from her. Piper shook her head vigorously in answer.  
  
"No games," she promised, lying with ease, "Jsut talking."  
  
"Alright, then," Matt began, "What would you like to talk about?" Piper smiled and appeared to be thinking. Matt clasped his hands together and started fidgeting. He couldn't get the idea out of his head that she was tricking him in some way.  
  
"What were your parents like?," Piper finally asked, settling on a fairly safe topic. Matt smiled, stilled his nervous hands, and focused his attention on the memories that came flooding back.  
  
"My father was not the most pleasant man to grow up with. He used to drink two much, and then he would get mean. He had his good days, though. My mother more than made up for his behavior," Matt began, "You would like her I think. You remind me a lot of how she used to be, before she died. She was warm, nurturing...She had an air about her that was calming. I can remember going on these long drives when my father was at his worst, and she would jsut sing quietly or talk to me in this soothing voice. I would forget about my dad during the trip, and then when we would go home, Dad would be fine."  
  
"Sounds like you really loved her," Piper said softly. Matt nodded.  
  
"I did. Still do. She was my whole world up until I was 20. She died of cancer. That was when I found God, and he told me about his plans for me. That was 15 years ago. I worked very hard to get to where I am now. What about you? How was your childhood?"  
  
Piper was glad for the change of subject. She did not want to associate the sweet woman Matt had jsut described with the man in front of her. Carefully, she edited her memories, omitting anything magic-related in order to avoid upsetting him. Then, with a small smile, she plunged into her life story, repeatedly telling herself that she was chatting with an old friend and not with a monster.  
  
"I was raised by my grandmother, actually. My mom died when I was little, and my Dad took off, only to reappear a few years ago....Anyway, Grams was...eccentric, is the best word I can come up with. She was always on one kick or another with me or my sisters. She was very stubborn, and when she made her mind up, we all learned to jsut accept our fate and move on. I say we...I mean me. Prue and Phoebe always had more backbone than I ever did growing up," Piper said, then stopped at Matt's confused expression. She raised her eyebrows in a silent question.  
  
"Who is Prue?," Matt asked, "You said 'Prue and Phoebe'..."  
  
"Prue is..was my older sister. She died a couple of years ago. That is when Phoebe and I found out about Paige. My mom and her whi-, uh, boyfriend had another child and put her up for adoption. None of us ever knew until after Prue's death," Piper explained.  
  
An awkward silence replaced their earlier chatter, and Piper looked around uncomfortably. Suddenly, she wanted Matt gone. It was two much to talk about her sisters with their murderer. She forced back her disgust, though, and faked a yawn. Matt glanced at her in concern.  
  
"If you are tired, you should go back to sleep. I'll pull a mattress in here. I know you couldn't have slept comfortably on the floor last night," Matt insisted hurriedly, scrambling to his feet.   
  
Piper gave him her best gratuitous look and watched him scurry out of the room. She heard a thump and the sound of cloth dragging across carpet, then Matt was at the doorway, tugging at a queen-sized mattress. Piper helped him get it situated, then settled down on it.  
  
"Thanks," she breathed, winded from the excursion.  
  
"Not a problem," Matt assured her, with a smile that turned Piper's stomach, "If you need anything else, don't hesitate to ask."  
  
Piper's mind screamed against the camaraderie that was hovering between them. It sickened her to be in such proximity to Matt without trying everything in her power to hurt him. She ignored the protests and lay back against her new bed, closing her eyes. After several moment, she heard Matt's retreating footsteps and sighed quietly. This was going to be a lot harder than she initially had imagined. 


	12. Two months

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Charmed. I'm almost positive it's illegal to do what I'm going to do with these characters...ah well, don't sue. It's only fun and fiction!  
  
AN: HUGE thanks to prues-clues, lulusa, Chub, line100, pippergurl, piperperson, furypiper, Starring Piper, versatile cutie, daria, Abbie Carmichael, Charmed4ever, tessalynne, Amanda, anonymous, Chelsea, line100, daria, Pipery03, and daria (lol, persistent!).  
  
Special thanks to daria and line100 who never gave up on me. Daria, your last review finally kicked the last of writer's block away, and hopefully for good! I would also like to apologize for how long it has been. I didnt realizeWB could be SO tough to get through. Better not underestimate him next time, huh? I hope I can manage to be a LOT faster at updating from here on out, especially since I know where I am going now. I think.  
  
Starring Piper: Well, I managed to get this out a lot sooner than I thought I would. I hope you enjoy it. I won't talk forever here, since we are prolly "talking" as you read this. I love you sweetie!! Thanks for being so wonderful!  
  
Chapter 12  
  
The silence was the hardest part. Once Matt left her, went off to do whatever he did, Piper was left alone to contemplate the mess she was in, had become. How she ever came to love a man she had believed she hated was, at times, revolting. Then again, sometimes she dreamed of how romantic it could have been, if the beginning weren't etched from terrible tragedy. Matt was so sweet, so gentle. His passion enthralled Piper. For hours, he kept her entertained with anecdotes from his past, Silly things he had done as a child. For hours at a time, she could pretend everything was perfect. All because of him.   
  
After all, it wasn't Matt she hated. It was Matthew, Saint Matthew, she had privately dubbed him. He ruined the beautiful times she had with Matt, stained their would-be perfect memories with hateful words and painful beatings. The only thing she hated more than Saint Matthew was his god, the Almighty Being who had ordered Matthew to murder her family. But...As Matt said over and over again, Phoebe and Paige had never really wanted her, anyway. She shouldn't hurt so much over them, but she couldn't help it. She had taken care of them for so long, had loved them more than anything in the world.  
  
'Stop it,' she ordered herself fiercely, 'It's been over two months. Get over it already.' Piper closed her eyes against the tears that were threateningly close, then blinked furiously. Sisters were a part of her past, a past she didn't want to revisit. A past where her husband had ended up hating her, a past where no one had truly loved her. A past without Matt.   
  
Piper felt a twinge of guilt. She felt so ungrateful thinking about her sisters. Life was practically perfect for her. Matt had even promised that she could get rid of the restraints in one more month. Freedom! Piper smiled. Maybe he would even let her go shopping with him. She missed cooking, missed taking care of someone. Matthew was adamant about her staying in the house, but Matt... Matt understood her needs.   
  
"What are you so happy about?"  
  
Piper glanced up. Oh, god. He looked angry. What had she done? Frantically, Piper tried to think of something to say to ease the fury behind his cold smile. Matthew advanced, but Piper forced herself to stay in place. If she moved back, even slightly, he would lose control. She was still sore from the last time he had been upset with her. In fact, the last time he had almost had to take her to the hospital. That had shaken him, or so she thought. He would surely be more careful this time, right? Piper whimpered softly.  
  
"My God is not pleased," Matthew hissed, "He tells me of your plan to leave me. After all I have done for you, you would be such an ungrateful bitch?"  
  
Piper stayed silent. She was never sure if he wanted her to answer him when he was this mad. If she said something, and it was the wrong choice, he would beat her. If she kept quiet, and he wanted an answer, she had more of a chance. Matthew stopped inches in front of her, kneeling to be at eye level.  
  
"Well?," he demanded.  
  
"I would never lea-," Piper tried before realizing, a moment two late, his intent.  
  
Matthew hit her hard, and immediately blood began to gush from her still-tender nose. Crying out, Piper instinctively curled into the fetal position, protecting her face and stomach. It was going to be worse this time than the last. He would probably kill her. Piper resigned herself to death as she felt her body go numb. At least she could pretend to be somewhere else. That was all she had now.  
  
Phoebe stared blankly into her mirror, clutching a brush absently. The funeral was today. Darryl had recommended it, promising it would bring a sense of closure. She had argued that an empty coffin would only stir up her hope that Piper was alive somewhere, but Paige and Leo had agreed with Darryl. It was time to move on, they kept saying. Screw them. Phoebe would never fully give up on Piper coming home.  
  
The past two months had been the worst time of her life. She and Paige had done everything they could think of to locate Piper, but as weeks passed and nothing worked, Paige had lost faith, leaving Phoebe to keep up the search on her own. Phoebe had worked non-stop, but last week, when Darryl had suggested burying Piper's memory, she had been forced to face facts. If Piper was coming home, then she would do it under her own power, not because of anything Phoebe could do.  
  
Rationally, she knew it was almost impossible for Piper to still be alive. But, Piper had been the center of her world for two many years, and Phoebe could not stop thinking that if Piper were dead, she would know. She would have to know. Their connection was strong, they had a bond built of love that nothing could break. And that was the problem, wasn't it? Because in the last few months before Piper's disappearance, Phoebe had let their relationship slide, telling herself that Piper would understand if she canceled plans now and again. Piper would understand if she went out instead of staying home to hang out with her family. Piper would understand if she ignored her. Even with the knowledge of how hurt Piper had been throughout this, Phoebe had selfishly chosen her own life, her own job, her own desires over her sister. Now, the guilt was so heavy she felt, at times, it was suffocating her. She could never replace that time in her life, in Piper's life. It would always be there to haunt her.  
  
"Phoebs," Paige said, knocking lightly. Phoebe jumped and turned around. "You ready?"  
  
"No," Phoebe replied honestly.   
  
Paige's perfectly composed face fell. For the first time in days, Phoebe saw real emotion. It hurt to watch her baby sister crumble, but she was a relieved. If Paige could acknowledge her feelings, then she could eventually move past them. Phoebe had to take care of her now. There was no one else. She was the older sister. Paige shuddered and began to cry.  
  
"Me either," Paige finally admitted in a whisper, "I can't do this."  
  
Phoebe motioned Paige to her, then embraced her tightly. As Paige sobbed, Phoebe held her, stroking her hair. She longed to soothe her with reassuring words, but none came. There were none to offer. Piper was gone from their lives, and nothing could make that fact less painful. Phoebe clung tighter, needing an anchor to reality. How could they even begin to live without Piper? Leo peaked through the doorway, his heart breaking along with theirs.  
  
"Girls," he said softly, "We need to go."  
  
Paige pulled away and nodded, sniffling. Phoebe forced herself to her feet. She wasn't ready to do this, but she would. For the family she had left. Clutching Paige's hand, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It was time to say goodbye. 


	13. Found

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Charmed. I'm almost positive it's illegal to do what I'm going to do with these characters...ah well, don't sue. It's only fun and fiction!  
  
AN: HUGE thanks to sci fi fan, line100, versatilecutie, luluSa, Chub, Starring Piper, piperperson, tessalynne, prues-clues, Piper15, daria, pippergurl, and Timeless Deception (UPDATE PLEASE!) for all of your wonderful reviews!! You guyz and galz are the bestest!  
  
Starring Piper: You're supposed to be on tonight, so here's hoping that you are! I finally managed to get this chapter out! Aren't you proud? I miss you... Love you!  
  
Thanks to everyone for being patient! Please review, 'cause I'd like to know what you think. Oh, and this is getting near the end. But if there is enough people who want the sequel... Well, you get the point. Anywayz, read on!  
**  
Chapter 13  
  
Matt's chest heaved as he sucked in gasping breaths. The tension that had been building in his muscles fled him, melting away smoothly until all he could feel was fatigue. Matt closed his eyes, struggling to remember where he was, what he had been doing. When he opened them again, blinking to dispell the foggy haze blurring his vision, he noticed the crumpled figure at his feet. Who...?   
  
Piper.  
  
"My God," he prayed, tone dripping with accusations, dropping to his knees at her side, "What have You made me do?"  
  
Matt swiped his hand across his face, meaning to wipe away the sweat, but he as he drew his hand away, he felt the sticky lliquid clinging to his forehead and cheeks. With mounting dread, Matt slowly peered at his hands. Blood. The thick red substance was everywhere. It covered the floor, his hands, his clothes. And...Piper. Groaning, Matt lifted her gingerly in his arms, beginning to weep softly. What had he done? Faint, slow, shallow breathing reached his ears as he covered her swollen, bruised face with light kisses.  
  
In brief, brutal flashes, Matt began to see jsut what he had done to her. Fury, this time at himself, had him trembling. How was she even alive? Matt set Piper down gently, staring dazedly past her, past the room he was in. Into something from his childhood.  
  
_Flashback  
  
"Daddy," Matt screamed hysterically, tugging on his father's arm with all of his ten-year-old might ,"Stop it, Daddy!"  
  
Matt shook as his father turned to him, anger sparking in his eyes. Slowly, Matt was lifted from his feet. Matt's eyes grew wide in realization. He was going to hit him. For the first time, his dad was going to hit him. Not his mother. Not a wall, or a drunken friend. But him. Matt closed his eyes in anticipation, fighting to stay calm.  
  
"I won't have my own son siding with his mother against me," Luke whispered menacingly. Then, without thought, he tossed his child away from him, not even bothering to watch his landing.  
  
Matt thudded against the floor, his head slamming into the corner of their coffee table. As his field of vision faded, he watched as his mother flailed wildly, begging Daddy to stop, to please stop. And then there was darkness. Protection from the awful sight and the screaming.  
_  
_End_  
  
Moaning from the pain the memory brought back, Matt toppled onto the floor, laying prostrate, face-down. What had he done? Become his father. For his Lord. Matt cried. For himself. For his mother. For Piper. When he had finished, he gathered Piper into his arms, praying he wasn't causing more harm, and did what he knew he should. Took her away from the safety of his cabin, away from the protection of his mother's charms, and drove her to San Francisco Memorial.

Darryl swore as he felt his pager go off. Not now. Not in the middle of Piper's funeral. Darryl glanced at the number, immediately pegging it for the emergency number the station always used to get his immediate attention. With another silent curse, he caught Phoebe's eye, motioning toward the door. She shrugged, and his throat clenched tightly at the pain etched on her face. 'I'm sorry,' he mouthed, but Phoebe merely turned her head, returning to the heart-wrenching service. Darryl sighed and, as quietly as possible, made his way past the mourners and reporters, finally slipping outside. Taking in a deep breath, he let his mind settle into 'business mode'. Now he had to forget about Piper, forget about the Halliwells. It could mean life or death for someone else.  
  
Automatically, he retrieved his cell phone and dialed the police station, waiting impatiently for a response. "Morris here," he spat, "What's the emergency?" After several long moments of silence, Darryl shut the phone off. His high profile kidnapping case had been solved. Piper had been found. At San Francisco Memorial. Turning on his heel, he rushed back into the service.  
  
"Phoebe, grab Paige and Leo and meet me outside," he whispered urgently as soon as he reached her side. Phoebe glared at him.  
  
"Not now," she hissed, "Don't even think about ruining the only chance we have to say goodbye."  
  
"You don't have to say goodbye," Darryl said quickly, rejoicing silently, "Jsut get Paige and Leo. Please."  
  
Phoebe eyed him, hope springing inside of her. Darryl gave her a pointed look and dashed back outside. Phoebe mulled over what he had said. "You don't have to say goodbye..." Could it be? Impatiently, Phoebe tugged on Paige's hand, dragging her outside, without explanation. Leo followed hesitantly. Once they reached Darryl, Paige jerked away from Phoebe, anger sparking inside of her.  
  
"What is this?," she growled, "You tell me I have to say goodbye to my sister... That I have to let her go and move on, and now, when I am trying to do jsut that, you pull me away?"  
  
"Paige," Darryl interrupted, breaking into a grin, " Leo, Phoebe, they've found her. She's alive. In the hospital, but she's alive."  
  
Paige gaped at him. No. There was no way this was happening. It was two good to be real. She was dreaming. In a few moments, she would wake up and find that her hope had been in something fabricated by her own subconscious. Paige gripped her arms fiercely, clawing them in an effort to wake herself up. She couldn't keep doing this to herself. The pain would kill her. Phoebe moved toward her, saying something. But Paige couldn't hear her, she could only hear blood rushing in her ears.Two much. It was all two much.  
  
"Paige," Phoebe urged, "Paige, honey, please, listen to me. She's alive. Everything is going to be OK now. She's alive."  
  
"Leo," Darryl said, tearing his eyes away from Paige, "Jsut...Do whatever it is that you do to get them to Memorial. I'll meet you there in a few minutes." Leo nodded, his eyes filling with tears.   
  
"Leo," Phoebe said frantically, "I don't know what to do. Paige..she's... gone somewhere. She won't answer me." Leo blinked, suddenly aware of Paige's pale form, and the far-off look in her eyes.  
  
"We'll take her to Piper," Leo told her, his voice shaking with relief, then he gripped them both, "She'll be fine when she sees Piper." Without another word, Leo orbed them to the hospital. 


	14. Come back

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Charmed. I'm almost positive it's illegal to do what I'm going to do with these characters...ah well, don't sue. It's only fun and fiction!  
  
AN: HUGE thanks to sci fi fan, line100, piperperson, versatilecutie, Lulusa, Timeless Deception, and Pipery03! Y'all are awesome, and I love you all!  
  
Starring Piper: Back one day (not on tonight) and already I can update again. Everyone should worship you as my wonderful muse. Well, if they won't, I will! Love you and miss you!**  
  
_Chapter 14  
_  
Phoebe gripped Paige's hand, barely aware that her sister was shaking. Leo had gone, to give the girls some time with their sister, but he had disguised his thoughtfulness as a call from the Elders. Phoebe had asked for the room number, and now she was on the way to seeing Piper after a month of searching. As she took another terrified step toward the hospital room that held Piper, Phoebe tried to clear her mind. If she could get through these first few moments, then everything would be OK. But facing her oldest sister in a hospital bed was something she had had nightmares about. As many times as the Halliwells had faced death, only a hospital could bring into focus how frightening, how final death could be.   
  
Phoebe halted in front of the door, Paige still at her side. The whimper was faint, almost inaudible, but Phoebe turned and caught Paige's fear-filled glance. Heart breaking, Phoebe tugged Paige into a tight embrace. Paige clung to her, drawing strength from their bond. Piper's disappearance had woven them together, until neither felt like an individual. The link was what helped them survive the shock, the turmoil, the grief. And it was what would give them the strength to handle whatever lay beyond that door. With a deep breath, Phoebe pulled out of the hug, gripping Paige's hand, and with the other, she opened the door.  
  
Phoebe's initial thought was one of horror and a sick relief. That couldn't be Piper. Piper was vibrant, strong. The figure in front of her was fragile. Broken. Realization sunk in soon after. It was Piper, but she was changed. Almost....incomplete. He had done this to her sister. He had turned her into the broken heap before her. Piper's face was so swollen, it was barely recognizable. Bruises everywhere. And the tubes and machines gave her an artificial look, as though she were plastic, made to look helpless and hurt for the benefit of curious onlookers. Phoebe assessed Piper's condition methodically, trying to distance herself from the initial pain.  
  
Choking back a sob, Phoebe forced herself to step forward. Piper needed her sisters, even if the doctors said she might never open her eyes. Phoebe knew that no matter how cruel Death was, he wouldn't take Piper from them now, not after everything that had happened. Using that knowledge, Phoebe was able to approach her big sister, her heart pounding in her chest.  
  
"Piper?," she whispered, but her voice didn't sound like her own, "Sweetie, it's me. God...I... I'm so sorry I let this happen to you."  
  
Paige stepped in behind her, resting her forehead on Phoebe's back. Phoebe felt tears soak through her throat, and silently, she reached back to stroke Paige's hair. Her other hand reached out tentatively, grasping Piper's hand. Gentle. She had to be gentle. Piper didn't move, didn't respond, but Phoebe felt compelled to talk to her, to bring her back.  
  
"Paige is here, two. We have been waiting for you to come home for so long," she told her, closing her eyes against the fresh wave of anguish, "We knew you would come back to us, Piper. The police...They all said it was next to impossible that you would be alive, but we knew, we felt you."  
  
Paige moved beside Phoebe, clutching her hand, searching for the strength to continue where Phoebe had left off. " Hey sis," she said softly, "We tried so hard to find you. Darryl said we had the best chance, with magic on our side, but he kept the police searching for you longer than usual. He fought for you, two. He was nearly as heartbroken as we were."  
  
"Today was your funeral, Piper," Phoebe broke in, her voice shaking, "We were supposed to say goodbye. Everyone thought it would be best... But here you are. You proved them wrong, and you can prove the doctors wrong. All you have to do is open your eyes. Please, for us. Because we've been waiting so long to see those worried brown eyes of yours."  
  
Silence dropped heavily upon them as they waited for a sign of response from their sister. The seconds ticked by, and Phoebe held her breath. Thirty seconds, a minute. Two minutes. Piper never moved. Letting out an angry breath, Phoebe turned and fled from the room, tears burning in her eyes.   
  
Paige hesitated at Piper's bedside, unsure of whether to keep on with Piper or go after Phoebe. Unable to pull herself away from her oldest sister, and thinking that Phoebe needed some time, Paige climbed gingerly onto the hospital bed, curling against Piper, careful not to upset any of the wires or tubes. Paige soaked in the contact, tears coursing down her cheeks.   
  
"I love you," Paige said abruptly, her voice raw with emotion, "I'm sorry I never told you before, but I didn't think you wanted to hear it from me. Mostly because of Prue, but also because we've fought each other, over everything. At least, I fought you. And every day that you were gone, I regretted not telling you how much you mean to me. I hope you can hear me, because I want you to know that you and Phoebe are my entire world. Jsut like you made us yours. I know I was selfish, and I know I treated you horribly. I don't deserve a sister like you, but... Could you please jsut wake up and be my sister anyway?"  
  
The whir of machines and occasional beeping was her only reply. Paige pushed herself up, looking down at Piper's battered face. The sight broke her heart. Kissing her sister's cheek, Paige slid off the bed, instantly missing the closeness. She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering, not from cold, but sorrow. With one last look at her sleeping sister, Paige retreated from the room.


	15. Past Mistakes

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Charmed. I'm almost positive it's illegal to do what I'm going to do with these characters...ah well, don't sue. It's only fun and fiction!  
  
AN: HUGE thanks to C.C McKenna, Timeless Deception, HollyShadow, Winter Blaze, p3charmed4eva, line100, Starring Piper, and Pixiedust-hunnie for your wonderful reviews! I love you all!!  
  
_Starring Piper: Ahhh! I miss you! And I wrote this jsut for you, so you better come on SOON! Kaysies?  
_**  
_Chapter 15  
_  
Leo orbed into the hospital room moments after Paige departed. With a strangled breath, he went to Piper's side. He had hardly acknowledged her presence for so long that it seemed unfamiliar to him, but the second he touched her lifeless hand, the memory of the strength and warmth Piper had once offered freely flooded back to him. Tears sprang to his eyes as he knelt at her side, pressing his forehead against her hand. What could he say? What would he do to bring her back?  
  
The answer flashed in his mind, but Leo shoved it away immediately. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't. Healing was out of the question. But how could he stand by and watch her fade away, after so much she had overcome to be back with her family? Guilt shrouded him heavily. He had pushed her so far away, and now there was a possibility he could never make ammends. She would probably have laughed in his face, but he could have tried.  
  
He _loved_ her. Every painful breath he had taken since the day he had left her reminded him of that. Who knew shame and pride could work together, even to create such a disaster as their fallen marriage? An obsession had grown out of berating himself for the words he had mindlessly hurled at her. A woman who could _never_ intentionally hurt anyone. A woman he had accused of murder.  
  
A woman who had let someone she had _claimed_ to love walk away without so much as a single word or moment of regret. Not that Leo would ever have known what she felt. He had closed the part of himself that could tap into her emotions, barricaded it so efficiently that he had forgotten the strength he had taken from her will. Piper had always been his everything. And he had thrown it -and her- away.  
  
Leo looked up at his beloved and saw nothing but destruction. Physical, emotional. Ruin that had been impending after every blow dealt to her. Ruin she had held off until she could no longer even breathe for herself. Leo glared angrily at the machines surrounding her, irrationally feeling jealous because she needed _them_, but not _him_. Not ever again. Leo pushed to his feet, unable to stand the knowledge that he could do nothing for her, no matter his love.  
  
"Piper," he whispered, bending to brush a kiss across her temple, "I'm so sorry. I should have..." What? Leo shook his head. All idle words. With a deep feeling of helplessness, Leo orbed from the room.  
  
"What do you mean there's nothing more you can do for her?," Phoebe demanded of the doctor before her, practically shouting, "You're fucking trained for this kind of thing. You _live_ for it, don't you? So what is so hard about helping _my_ sister recover? And don't you dare tell me insurance, because I know damn well she was insured for anything, including a hang nail."  
  
"It has nothing to do with insurance, not that it ever would, and I certainly would do more if it were possible," Dr. Hash went on calmly, if a little offended, "I am afraid you aren't understanding me properly. There are _no_ medical means of helping Ms. Halliwell any further than what I have done for her. I am trying to tell you that her body and her will are _all_ that will help her from this point on."  
  
Phoebe stared at him for a long time, willing him to break into a smile and say he was only joking. How was it even possible that he could run out of options? With every advance they had made, hadn't one single idiot found a way to heal brutally beaten people? After all, it wasn't a rare occurence. When Dr. Hash finally looked away uneasily, Phoebe snapped from her thoughts. "So..is there _anything_ I can do for her?," she whispered.  
  
"Talk to her," the doctor encouraged, "But other than that... Our only option is to wait and hope for the best." He offered a sympathetic look before turning to walk away.  
  
"What a waste of breath," Paige hissed, sneering at his retreating figure, "I don't know _why_ we even bothered to ask him. If there's nothing he can do, I'm sure we can find something in the Book of Shadows to help her."  
  
"No, Paige," Phoebe said gently, "He was right when he said _all_ we can do is talk to her.. Even with magic on our side, there is nothing for this type of situation."  
  
"Talking to her? That's ridiculous! The only way talking is going to help her at all is if we're saying a spell to heal her," Paige insisted.  
  
"You aren't listening." Phoebe replied, frustrated, "Since magic didn't put her into this hospital, magic can't bring her out of it! There is no spell, not without consequences that neither of us are willing to risk." Paige gawked.  
  
"Great, so we what? Wait for her to die?," she returned angrily.  
  
"Don't even say it," Phoebe warned, narrowing her eyes, "Piper will make it through this. It's what she does. I know her." Without another word, she whirled around and headed for Piper's room. But Paige heard the unspoken words, and felt their sting. _I know her, but you don't.  
_  
She never had, not really. Piper had tried to bond with her, a while after they met, but she had been preoccupied with her own life. That and keeping up her relationship with Phoebe, which had always taken precedence. Paige had been indifferent, distant. She had wasted so much time, instead of grabbing onto it with all she had. Even though she hadn't realized it, Piper had become precious in her life. And Paige had treated her older sister as expendable.  
  
Paige sighed. It would do no good to dwell on the mistakes she made with Piper. All she had now was the hope of setting things right. At the moment, she needed to be with Piper, doing the one thing the doctor had advised them to do. Talk to her. Keep her tethered to this reality. At least she could do that for Piper, after everything Piper had done for her.  
  
**AN: Wow, another chapter, you must be saying. Yeah yeah. I know I've sucked at updating. Jsut bow to the amazing wonder that is Starring Piper. She made me do it!**


	16. Should Haves

_Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Charmed. I'm almost positive it's illegal to do what I'm going to do with these characters...ah well, don't sue. It's only fun and fiction!_

**Huge thanks to: Missy-Paige, chazza, Piperfan882, C.C McKenna, line100, versatilecutie, Abbie Carmichael, Timeless Deception, psychokitty3, Starring Piper, and Raya Sparrow for your reviews. I hope you're all still reading after the LONG wait. Thanks again guys**.

Chapter 16

"My god, Paige, don't you even want her to live?"

Paige faced Phoebe defiantly, her eyes screaming of her anger. Phoebe crossed her arms, cocking her head to the side. She was ready for Paige's answer. This fight was long overdue. Silence stretched between them. Paige fought for composure. Tears sprang to her eyes, but she pushed them back forcefully. What could she say?

"You and I both know that I do," she said softly, with a surprisingly normal voice, "She is my sister."

"Then act like it," Phoebe challenged explosively, "You won't even go into her room, not even when the doctors said the only hope she had was if we were pulling for her. Why can't you talk to her?"

"I just can't. Don't you get it? I put her in there. Maybe not literally, and certainly not intentionally, but it's my fault all the same. And what gets me... What really gets me is that everyone seems to think that I could make a difference. Well, excuse me, but I doubt Piper will ever want anything to do with me. Not after what I did to her."

"What do you mean? You had nothing to do with why Piper is in the hospital," Phoebe argued, some of her anger melting away.

"Oh, no?," Paige shot back venomously, " I was in the house that day, just upstairs. She had been trying to convince me of my own selfishness not minutes before, and without even really listening, I walked away and left her to the cruel intentions of a psychotic man. I could have stopped it if I'd sat down to really talk to her, instead of turning my back as always."

"So, basically, you're letting your own guilt stop you from trying to help your sister now, when you_truly_ can do something about her situation?," Phoebe asked, "Seems to me like you have a chance to atone for your imagined offense, and you aren't even taking the opportunity to do so. I never would have counted you for so selfish, Paige." Phoebe gave Paige a long, pointed look, and then stalked away.

Paige stared after her sister and sighed. Phoebe always knew how to get to her. Over the past few days, Paige had lurked in the hallway just outside the door to Piper's room, hoping she would somehow gather the courage to face her oldest sister. Phoebe had been her anchor, forcing her to the Manor when she could no longer handle the sorrow, squeezing her hand when she saw the pained expression Paige now always wore deepen. Paige could never have survived a single day without Phoebe, and that just made her feel even more guilty. Phoebe had enough to deal with without Paige's guilt.

With another sigh, Paige squared her shoulders and marched into Piper's room before she lost her nerve. The sight stopped her, and she sucked in a breath. "Piper," Paige breathed, running to the side of the bed, "Oh, god. I've missed you."

Phoebe left the room to give Paige some privacy. Paige barely noticed Phoebe's departure. She only gripped Piper's lifeless hand and sobbed. "You scared me to death, Piper. We thought you weren't coming home...and now... Piper, can't you wake up?"

Piper didn't move, and Paige bit her lip, pausing to collect her thoughts. "Look, sis, here's the deal... I know I was a terrible sister. I was never there for you, I took advantage of you. The worst part is... I never told you I love you. And I do. God, I do. The truth is, Phoebe and I... well, we just assumed you'd know we cared. You had to have felt left out, but I didn't intend to exclude you, I... I've never been good at relationships. It's not like I had much practice growing up, and when I met you guys, it was as though I had to break into this secret code just to be your sister. And Phoebe seemed more open to having another sister, so I tried it out with her. You know? After a while, I got so caught up in having her there, in having a sister I could share everything with, I kind of forgot to try with you, too. God, that sounds terrible."

Paige stopped, looking away. She did_not_ like this honesty thing. Part of her had known how much she and Phoebe were hurting Piper, but she was just realizing that, for the most part, she just didn't know how to reach Piper. "I guess I did what I always do," Paige continued, voicing her thoughts, "I saw an obstacle, and I ran. I'm not good with emotional boundaries. I'm always afraid I'll step on them, or over them. Instead I stay away from them completely. You were a challenge, a challenge I was afraid to approach. Prue was so much a part of you...and I was terrified of her. Am_still_ terrified of her. But mostly, I was afraid of rejection... And I let my fear push you away until... Well, look at you. I did this to you. And I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Paige backed away, trembling. There. The truth was out there. All she had to do now was wait to be struck down by lightning, or something. As she rightly should be.

When Piper's eyelids fluttered, Paige nearly jumped out of her skin. "Piper...Oh my god," Paige whispered, rushing back to her sister's side. Piper groaned, opening her eyes into slits, then closing them. "Come on, sweetie," Paige coaxed, "You can do it. Come back to us." Piper opened her eyes once more, confusion clouding her face, then elation.

"Paige...hoping to see you...when I died," Piper said in a hoarse whipser. She licked her dry, cracked lips and forced her eyes completely open, ignoring the harsh pain that flickered through her head because of the bright lights. "Wh-where's Phoebe?"

"I'll get her. And the doctor. Piper, oh god, I'm so happy you're alive," Paige said excitedly, "I'll be right back. Just...Please, stay awake, ok?" Paige practically sprinted out of the room, leaving a bewildered Piper to assess her situation.

"Alive?"


	17. Spiralling

Piper could not believe her surroundings. A hospital bed. Cold, drab walls. An IV pump. An oxygen pump. Noises she vaguely recognized, but couldn't concentrate on. What was this? Some kind of weird hell for failed witches? But if it was hell...Where had Paige come from? Piper closed her eyes, then immediately reopened them. She felt the urge to fall back into the void, the oblivion that was so much easier than this reality. She had to resist, though, because Paige had looked at her so pleadingly. As if she cared, as if Piper hadn't just given up on her sisters. As if she hadn't tried to forget them. A moment later, Paige bolted back inside the room, followed closely by Phoebe. Piper ached, seeing her sisters so close. Maybe this is hell after all. Maybe this is a way of reminding me of what I lost, of what I should have held onto, and didn't. Still, she knew she was going to fight to stay awake, to stay in this alternate universe, this punishment. At least here she could see her sisters again.

"Piper. Oh, god. I've never been more happy to see those beautiful brown eyes in my life," Phoebe breathed, sobbing heavily. Piper tried to speak. Couldn't.

"We though we'd lost you," Paige whispered, then was speechless herself.

Piper couldn't believe the love in their eyes. How could they love her? How could anyone? And then she remembered Matt. He loved her, but he had also lied to her. Said her sisters were dead. And maybe they were, but Piper didn't think anyone could look more alive, and she was grateful for this chance. Her heart clutched, thinking of how much she wanted to hold them, cling to them and never let go. She didn't deserve the opportunity, but that didn't stop her from wanting it. Phoebe crept to her, squeezing her hand, kissing her forehead. To Piper, it felt real. But she knew...It just couldn't be true. Piper struggled to fight the tug of exhaustion, fough to keep her eyes longer, to keep her beautiful sisters in her sight, and lost. Eyelids drooping, she whispered "I'm...sorry."

And that's when Piper flatlined.

At first, Phoebe and Paige glanced around, unable to understand the loud, insistent beep. And then they were being pushed out of the room, told to wait outside. Panic set in, then. Phoebe clung to Paige, screaming, crying. She sank to the floor, pulling Paige with her. Paige stayed silent. No tears. No reaction. Just...emptiness. How could this be happening? They had just gotten her back, she had opened her eyes, spoken to them both. And now? Paige shook her head slowly. Now, they were losing her all over again. She snapped. No warning, just a sudden jerk of muscle, and she was surging to her feet, storming blindly through the hospital, knocking people, objects out of her way. Paige didn't hear Phoebe calling her, didn't hear the cries of outrage from the people she pushed down. She heard nothing. Saw nothing but a red, hazy film. And the only thing she felt was rage. Pure, unadulterated rage.

Phoebe watched her sister's rapidly retreating figure, and had a moment of fear so intense she nearly passed out. What did she do? Did she go after Paige? Did she wait for the doctor? Her conscience battled itself, thoughts racing so fast she could barely grasp what was going on in her mind. Piper could die, and she would be waiting for nothing but more heartache. Paige could hurt herself, or someone else. Piper could be alive. Paige could go to hell. What to do? What to do? She could just go home, pretend none of this was going on, but then, who would hold the family together? Piper is dying. Paige is gone. She could be gone for good. But now, the decision was made for her, wasn't it? She had already chosen. Chosen by not acting. Paige was completely out of her sight. Piper was still in the room in front of her, and she was standing there. Doing nothing. Just as she had been, before Piper was found. Some sister she had turned out to be.

Paige found her car, somehow, and blindly unlocked the doors, got in. She started the engine without remember where she got the keys, and backed out without even bothering to check her mirrors. She only knew she had to get away. Get out of there. Fast. No thinking. Just drive. Her hands shook on the wheel, but she didn't notice. She focused on the road ahead, ignored her blurred vision. She swerved. Once over the yellow line. Twice. Three, four, five times. And still, she didn't see. She kept driving, without realizing the speedometer read 110. Now in the middle of the road. Now completely in the other lane. Back to her own lane, dragging in long ragged breaths she didn't know she was taking. The breaths got shorter. The car swayed back and forth, back and forth. Cars moved, some screeching to a stop, some barely missing her. And still she kept driving. She didn't even know there was anyone else on the road. Didn't care. Yellow and black signs danced in the distance. Warning signs, telling of sharp curves. Cautioning against high speeds. And still she kept going. The car crept across the yellow line. Back again. Across.

Phoebe forced herself to move, to think. She had to keep herself from blanking out, had to focus on anything other than Piper in that room or Paige out of her mind. Phoebe closed her eyes, opened them, closed them again. She dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands, trying to keep her head clear. How long had it been? Five minutes? Ten? Was Piper gone, or were they stabilizing her? So many questions. Phoebe felt another surge of panic. Knees weak, hands shaking, she tried desperately to concentrate on something else. Anything else. Multiplication tables. _Five times one is five. Five times two is ten. Five times three is fifteen. Five times four is twenty. She's dead. Oh god, she's dead. Five times... _Phoebe's vision darkened, and she fought against the blackness. _Can't. Have to stay alert. Five times five is twenty-five._ It was getting hard to stand, and she sank to the floor, propped up by the wall in front of Piper's room. _Five times six is thirty. _Darkness. Total oblivion.


	18. Chapter 18

"Call it. Time of death?"

"The car went through the guardrail. She never had a chance."

"I'm sorry. We did all we could."

The double ceremony was beautiful. Family friends, the equivalent of accident-site gawkers, a handful of reporters, and dozens of strangers who just wanted to offer condolences made up the rows of mourners. Alone, at the front of the church, Phoebe Halliwell sat, her shoulders rigid. A few people had offered to sit with her, to try to comfort her, but had been turned quietly but firmly away. Reporters wrote furiously, casting Phoebe in the role of "dignified survivor." As the service began, the crowd was silent. There was no one sobbing, or sniffling. None of the usual noise that accompanied funerals. Everyone seemed to be imitating Phoebe, saying to themselves "If she can be composed, then so will I." Phoebe never even noticed.

When it came time for her to speak, she rose, dry-eyed and walked to the front. With the exception of scribbling pens, the silence held. Phoebe faced the people who had come to mourn, but she never saw them. Her eyes fixed on something no one else could see, Phoebe began to speak:

"Today, I must bury the last two members of my family. My sisters, Piper Halliwell and Paige Matthews. Theirs were neither quiet nor easy deaths, not that death is ever easy. I will not offer any justifications, any platitudes. I will only stand here because I must honor my sisters, but I will not lie. I refuse to sugar coat their deaths with silly phrases such as, "They're in a better place," or "Everything happens for a reason." I believe neither. There is no reason, no justice in a madman beating my older sister into her grave. None. No reason for my baby sister to have been in such agony, such grief. No reason for her car to be in a million pieces. No reason at all for either of them to be dead. But they are."

"I know most of you are here because in some way, my sisters touched your lives. Piper and Paige had a tendency to do that, even when you wanted to be left alone. Most of you are saddened to know that the world is without two very generous, loving souls. I agree. The world has been robbed. So many will not get the chance they would have to meet Piper. To meet Paige. The truth is, that as many lives they have touched now, there could have been so many more. Should have been. Some of you know life will never be the same. I know mine never will."

With that, Phoebe turned, touching Paige's casket.

"Paige, I wish you had never left the hospital that night. I wish I had gone after you. After Piper went missing, there were so many things we put on hold, so many things we thought could wait. I always thought I'd be able to see you get married, have children. Finally tell your boss off, even though you'd already quit. We were supposed to die on the same day. Age 105. Remember? You promised. I know we didn't grow up together, something you always let get to you. It never mattered to me, Paige. I wish I had told you. You and Piper were what was great in my life. I love you, baby sister. Always." Phoebe kissed the top of the coffin, and swiveled to face Piper's.

"Piper. I will never forgive myself for failing you. For so long, I searched. Paige and I both did, but not long enough. Never long enough. I can't forget about your first funeral. The relief I felt for finally trying to let go. All the while, you were counting on us, on me, to find you. I fear that by giving up, I let you go. And when I did, you lost the will to live. I'm so sorry, Piper. For my entire life, you were my rock, my glue. I always knew that no matter what, I could turn around and find you right behind me. I couldn't return the favor, and you died."

For the first time, Phoebe lost her composure. As she fought to get it back, a collective breath was drawn. Finally, after several agonizing minutes, Phoebe spoke. "I will spend forever making that up to you, Piper. I promise you that. I love you."

She bent to kiss the top of Piper's coffin and returned to her seat.

After the burial ceremony, Phoebe fled back to the Manor. Away from sympathetic eyes, and prying questions. She closed the door on the silent house and crept upstairs. "It's done," she whispered. Her only concern since the day she lost her sisters, had been giving them the funeral they both deserved. And now that it was accomplished, Phoebe had lost the only incentive she had to keep going. And she was relieved.

Phoebe quietly entered Paige's room. It was just as Paige left it. Unmade bed, floors buried beneath clothes and towels and shoes. She had not been in Piper's room, not since before she had been taken. Many people had, but not Phoebe. She never would. Letting the tears she had been holding back flood her eyes, Phoebe hurled herself across the room, into Paige's bed. Curling under the covers, she pulled a bottle of prescription pills from her pocket. Piper's doctor had prescribed them for Phoebe when Piper died, "To help you sleep." She had carried it with her to the funeral. "To help me sleep," Phoebe whispered, and uncapped the bottle.

When the news of Phoebe Halliwell's death reached San Francisco, reporters around California typed furiously. Headlines changed from "The Last Standing" and "Sole Survivor" to "And Then There Were None." and "Tragedy Strikes Three Sisters" Every newspaper held a copy of the "suicide note." There was no funeral, as Phoebe had requested.


End file.
